Christmas in France!
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 17 up! Complete! The West Coast Misfits hit France for Christmas! Next, Our heroes head home and enjoy the Christmas bounty! RR PLEASE! Suggestions needed badly!
1. New Mission!

**Christmas in ****France******

**Hey there, Misfit fans! L1701E here! Here's a little holiday fic for you courtesy of me, starring the West Coast Misfits. They are going abroad for a mission and some holiday fun! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All characters except OCs belong to Marvel and Sunbow. And here's your quote: "SANTA FIGHT!!!" - Me on the scene in "Jingle All the Way" where ****Arnold**** fights the Santas.**

Chapter 1: New Mission!

**Malibu**** Base**

"Man, what a yawn…" A Joe yawned as he watched TV in Malibu Base's watchtower. His semi-long blond hair and green headband gave him away as Hi-Tech, a Joe electronics warfare expert. With him was a woman with blonde hair, clad in a dark uniform with a red bird on the chest. She was an Eastern European Joe codenamed Vorona, with translated into "Crow" in Czech. "This show is so boring, Daina."

"It is better than staring into the horizon looking for nothing all day." Daina chuckled. "Besides, I like this show."

"I prefer Jerry Springer." Hi-Tech grinned. "I like a good fight. You know, I can search the Net and pick up that episode of Geraldo where he broke his nose fighting those skinheads."

"No thank you." Daina replied curtly. She noticed Torpedo and Footloose decorating the bottom of the tower. "Ah, Christmas is coming around again."

"What'd you always want?" Hi-Tech asked. Daina shrugged.

"Back in the old country, a great Christmas was actually having something good to eat. I plan to volunteer down at the homeless shelter for Christmas."

"Maybe I'll join you." Hi-Tech grinned. "It's always nice to do things for others on Christmas. I'm doing free electronic repairs down at the shop." Daina rolled her eyes with a smile. Oh well, at least the kid had a real good intention.

**The ****Malibu**** Base meeting room**

The West Coast Misfits were gathered around the Malibu Base meeting room.

"What do you want for Christmas?" Kyle asked Jack.

"A surfboard rack for my Volkswagen Bus, dude." Jack grinned. Kyle grimaced.

"That old hunk of tin? It should get pulverized in a junkyard, not get an addition!"

"You're a total regular Scrooge sometimes, you know that dude? I mean, totally bogus." Jack groaned.

"The Thunderbolt don't hate Christmas! He just hates your bus!" Kyle exclaimed in self-defense.

"Jack loves that old bus." Ali laughed. "His dad gave it to him."

"Was your dad drunk?" Kyle joked. Jack took a swing. "Hey! I was kidding."

"Alright kiddies, settle down." General Whithalf grinned as he walked in.

"So, what's the latest job today?" Ace grinned at General Whithalf. "Interception? A good ol' fashioned brawl with Cobra?"

"Actually, you kids are going to be doing some bodyguard work." Whithalf replied.

"You're joking." Kyle blinked.

"And you're going to see a new country." Whithalf grinned. "You're going to France."

"France?!" Theresa asked interestedly.

"Oh my God! France is such a beautiful country!" Ali squealed. "The Left Bank, the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe…That country's so romantic."

"Yeah, if you're into dumb arrogant jabronies with bad accents, no guts, and the inability to use deodorant." Kyle grumbled. "The Thunderbolt hates French people. French people tick him off."

"I think we're going to have a problem." Ace rolled his eyes.

"Yes, well…" Whithalf cleared his throat. "Have you heard of this?" A panel opened up behind the general, revealing a screen. The screen showed a mechanical device that resembled the B.E.T.

"Is that…the Broadcast Energy Transmitter?" Ali said in shock.

"I thought that thing was destroyed during that whole Cobra-La thing!" Rictor exclaimed.

"Yeah, Falcon overloaded that thing!" X23 added.

"And it blew Cobra-La to smithereens." Whithalf nodded. "We managed to salvage it and return what was left of it to the company that created it. A French company known as d'Agastino Industries, one of France's premiere industrial and electronic companies. The company is owned by Gerard d'Agastino, who also is remotely related to France's royal family." Whithalf said.

"Great. Only one thing worse than a Frenchy, it's a Frenchy with money." Kyle groaned. "Give a French guy a dollar, and the jerk thinks he rules the world."

"Kyle, be quiet." Toshi grumbled.

"There's also something else. Mr. d'Agastino has requested the help of the Joes because of his daughter."

"His daughter's X-Gene manifested?" Rahne reasoned.

"Yes Wolfsbane. His daughter's a mutant, and he figured that as long as you are there, you kids could help her deal with her new powers." Whithalf added.

"What kind of powers does she possess?" Toshi raised an eyebrow.

"The power to be a pain. No wait, all French people have that power." Kyle joked. He then burst out laughing at his own joke. The other West Coast Misfits groaned.

"Actually, she has the ability to alter the specific gravity of an object or person. She can make things heavier or lighter." Whithalf replied.

"Sounds like a strange ability to me." X23 blinked.

"Think about what ye can do with that power." Theresa said. "Ye'll be able to move objects of incredible weight just by altering the pull of gravity around them. Saints, she could send someone to _space_ if she's not careful!"

"Or crush someone underneath immense gravitational forces." Toshiro nodded in agreement. "Her powers do have the potential for great destruction. We should help her learn to harness that power."

"A French mutant learning to control her powers? Yeah right!" Kyle scoffed. "They have bad taste in comedy and worse hygiene!"

"If Tarot heard that, she'd kick your Beantown butt, Kyle." Ace smirked. "She's French, you know."

"It must be murder on your nose being near her." Kyle rolled her eyes. "YEOW!!!" Ace playfully fired a blue claw laser at the electrokinetic. "You jerk!"

"They say the French know a lot about romance." Ace shrugged. "Besides, Tarot told me she'd be in Paris today."

"I didn't think Tarot was your type, Ace. She's…kind of creepy." Terrell shook his head. "She's always so…calm."

"She's into that meditation stuff." Ace smirked. "During my time as a "Hellion", she would often ask me to meditate with her."

"Starr Charm, huh?" John smirked. "I want some of that."

"So we basically have to protect this guy and his machine, as well as help his daughter adjust to her newfound mutant powers." X23 groaned. "Let the insanity begin."

Well, well, well! Looks like the West Coast Misfits are going to be on a new mission! What insanity will happen next? What'll happen to our heroes in France? What's the new mutant like? Can our heroes do the job? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	2. Welcome to France!

**Christmas in ****France******

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! It's alright. Christmas is a very hectic time of year. I'm glad you liked the story so far! You'll see my take on her, and I hope I did her justice. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red! I read the new chapters of "This Soap Opera Called Life" and I loved them! Man, __Duncan__ has some serious issues, if I don't say so myself. Indeed, romance is nothing but trouble. Yep, the West Coast Misfits are heading to __France__, and you bet it's going to be good. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Yeah, X23 always has a pretty good grasp of what's going on around there. Who speaks French? Well, Ace does a little, concerning he said he learned a little French from Tarot back when he was posing as a Hellion. Oh yeah, read the new chapter of "A Misfit Halloween"! It's up in my bio! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Firefly25: Hey there Firefly! Yeah, Athena said it perfectly. Yeah, Ms. D'Agastino's powers are kind of like the black Bishop's, now that I think about it. I would not be surprised if Jester knows something about that. Maybe she and Leland are remotely related. France will definitely be rocked like a hurricane, and I would not be surprised if a certain Bostonian gets exiled for his mouth **(Kyle: The Thunderbolt already is banned from **_**_Thailand_****_, so why not?)_**_. Enjoy the new chapter, and check out my bio for a new chapter of "A Misfit Halloween"! And I can hardly wait to beta-read the new chapter of "Reindeer Flotilla"!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there RogueFan! Yeah, the ability to manipulate gravity is a very impressive mutant ability. Just ask Harry Leland **(Leland: IT ROCKS!!!!)**. Yeah, Thunderbolt's going to tick off a lot of French people. Kyle being chased by a mob of angry Frenchmen? I LIKE IT!!! I'll see what I can do with that! Enjoy the new chapter, and enjoy the new chapter of "A Misfit Halloween" in my Bio!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Let me see, Kyle insults a French dude, gets slapped in the face with a glove, slaps him back with a brick-loaded glove, then kicks him in the groin. I LIKE IT!!!! I'll see what I can do with that! Enjoy the new chapter, and check out the new chapter of "A Misfit Halloween" in my bio!_

_To Metal Dragon1: Hey there, Metal Dragon1! Yep, it's that same evil French girl. I **know** she and Kyle will get into it. Kyle's not the type of person who lets himself get bossed around. Yeah, Hi-Tech's heart is in the right place. I'll try to show more __Malibu__ Joe action in this story. I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home"! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Yeah, the West Coast Misfits are going to __France__, and they just may meet Tarot. Yeah, Kyle just may get himself into trouble. You'll find out about the new mutant in this chapter! Who knows who is after the revamped BET. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and read the new chapter of "A Misfit Halloween" up in my bio! _

_To Haretrigger: Hey there Hare! Yeah, Athena could not have said it better herself. Kyle beats up a mime then gets ambushed by a bunch of mimes? I LIKE IT!!! I also loved your ideas for Kelly and Duncan torture! Enjoy the new chapter, and check out the new chapter of "A Misfit Halloween" up in my Bio!_

**Disclaimer: The character Marie-Claire d'Agastino belongs to mattb3671. Read the fic "X-Men is Australian for Mutant" by him, where she comes from. I hope you like it! And here's your quote: "Cook 'em" - C&C Generals**

Chapter 2: Welcome to France!

**Paris****France**

"Wow. France is so beautiful." Ali smiled as she saw the streets of Paris through the Hummer window. She was stroking Blast Radius, who was sleeping on her lap.

"Yeah." Wipe-Out agreed from the driver's seat. He was driving the Hummer. In the driver's seat with him was Firestorm. In the back were Dazzler, Thunderbolt, and Rictor.

"So different from Mexico…" Rictor blinked.

"Yeah, Mexico's more manly." Kyle chuckled.

"Oh stop Kyle!" Ali groaned. "You've ran your mouth this entire trip. Does it need rest?" Kyle rolled his eyes.

"Why are only we going into the mansion, man?" Rictor asked Wipe-Out.

"We totally only need a small group to introduce ourselves. Besides, the others want to go sightseeing."

**Atop the ****Eiffel****Tower**

John Proudstar, Tommy Sharpe, and Terrell Mason were standing atop the Eiffel Tower, looking down.

"Wow, man. It's all so small from up here." Tommy gasped in awe. "This thing may be taller than Ayers Rock!"

"Hey guys…" John smirked evilly, pulling a coin out of his pocket. "I wonder what happens if you drop a coin from this height." He threw down the coin, and Terrell and Tommy watched it fall with digital binoculars created by the Joes. The coin fell downward at incredible speed, and it landed hard on someone's head.

"OW!!!" A vacationing Senator Kelly screamed. He glared up at the tower. "Stupid kids." John, Tommy, and Terrell laughed at that.

"We hit the jerk!" Terrell laughed happily. "Man, that was _great!_"

**The d'Agastino Estate**

"Whoa…"Ali blinked in awe as they drove up to a huge Mansion.

"Looks like the Palace of Versailles on steroids." Firestorm blinked. "I'd love to blow this place up one day."

"Oh, shut up, dude." Wipe-Out groaned. The five exited the Hummer and walked to the door.

"Come in." The doors opened up seemingly by themselves.

"Automatic doors. The Thunderbolt must admit, French people know how to live." Kyle chuckled.  
"Even if they mostly do it by surrendering."

"Kyle, quiet!" Ali whispered harshly.

"Bonjour, Bonjour! You are ze Malibu Joes, n'est-ce pas?" A tall man in a suit smiled as he walked up to the Joes. He had a mustache, and his short brown hair had graying temples.

"Yeah, dude! I'm Wipe-Out, and he's Firestorm. With us are three members of the West Coast Misfits: Dazzler, Rictor, and Thunderbolt." The man chuckled. Kyle rolled his eyes.

"My name is Gerard d'Agastino, and I am glad you are here. I am sure you have heard about my daughter."

"Yes." Ali smiled. "You took the news of her mutation emerging rather well."

"Well, it is not her fault. It is all in ze DNA, no? Cannot control zat." Gerard chuckled. "Besides, Europeans generally have different opinions on mutants than North Americans." Kyle rolled his eyes.

"What is going on here?!" A female voice demanded. A beautiful girl, around 17, descended down the stairs, clad in a sweater and jeans. The clothes showed her curvaceous figure, and her dark hair went down to her lower back. She had olive skin, dark eyes and full lips.

"Whoa, mama!" Rictor blinked, then grinned widely. "She's muy caliente, man!" The dark-haired girl looked down at the West Coast Misfits with contempt.

"What're _you_ lookin' at?!" Kyle snapped. "Never seen a Red Sox jacket before, jabroni? Get a good look!" The girl snorted.

"Typical American. Loud and arrogant." She snorted with a French accent.

"Zat's my daughter, Marie Claire." Gerard sighed sadly.

"Yeah, the Thunderbolt's American! And proud of it! Born and raised in Boston, Massachusetts!" Kyle snapped up at the French girl. "That's right, jabroni! Boston, the home of the World Series Champions, the Red Sox!"

"Oh God Kyle, don't start anything…" Ali groaned.

"Who are these people?" She scowled.

"We're members of the West Coast Misfits." Ali grinned. "I'm Alison Blaire. My friends are Randy Gomez, but everyone calls him Rictor, and the mouth in the Red Sox jacket over here is Kyle Wildfire."

"Of the Wildfire Wrestling Dynasty!" Kyle grinned proudly. "Son of former World Champion Eric "Blazer" Wildfire and grandson of former World Champion Alexander "The Burner" Wildfire!" Marie Claire scowled.

"Kyle, calm down!" Firestorm said.

"Hmmph! Zis Alison Blaire obviously has no clue zat Farrah Fawcett no longer wears her hair like zat."

"Hey!" Ali said in shock.

"And ze short Hispanic boy should learn zat women do not like being stared at like zat."

"Well excuse me for being straight, senorita." Rictor grumbled.

"And zis other one…" Marie Claire pointed at Kyle. "He looks like a…what is zat American term? Ah, yes…redneck."

"Redneck?! _REDNECK?!_" Kyle roared. "C'mere and the Thunderbolt will show you how much of a redneck the Thunderbolt is, jabroni!" Kyle tried to race up the stairs to punch out the French girl's lights, but Ali and Rictor were holding him back.

"I'm sorry about that, dude." Wipe-Out sighed at Gerard.

"It's not your fault. She's been like zis ever since her mother died." Gerard sighed.

**The streets of Paris**

Ace Starr walked down the Champs-Elysees, Paris's main street. He smiled and winked at a couple pretty French girls, making them giggle. Ace chuckled happily.

"I love Paris. I oughta come here more often." Ace grinned. He walked by a café and he noticed a certain redhead. The feral rocker smirked. "Hello…" He ran to a flower cart, and purchased a bouquet of red roses. He walked up behind the redhead. "Miss Marie-Ange Colbert, I presume?" The redhead turned around, revealing the familiar angular features of the Hellion codenamed Tarot.

"Ace!" She leapt up and hugged him. "You are here! I cannot believe it!"

"But of course, Card-girl." Ace grinned. "I just had to be here."

Well, well, well! Looks like the West Coast Misfits have hit France! What insanity will happen next? Will Kyle slug Marie Claire? What insanity are the other kids up to? What madness will happen with Ace and Tarot? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	3. The Tale Picks Up!

**Christmas in ****France**

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! Yeah, someone who can definitely beat Monet in pomp. Yes, it will be very interesting. Well, Kyle will never change in that aspect. And you have to admit, it can be funny sometimes to see Kyle run his mouth and lose his temper. I can imagine that if there was a West Coast Misfit comic, Thunderbolt would have his own solo series. Speaking of West Coast Misfit members having their own solo comic, did you know X-23 is getting her own comic? That's right, X-23 is getting a comic. I guess she was a character people really wanted to see. Marie is definitely not going to have many friends with her attitude. How would Marie Claire act around Ace? Well, we'll have to see, won't we? Anyway, enjoy the new chapter! Can hardly wait to beta-read the first chapter of your story for you!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Well, if good ol' Kyle is not careful there may be some diplomatic incidents caused by his big mouth. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Haretrigger: Hey there Hare! Yeah, Thunderbird, Velocity, and Chilljaw beaned Kelly. I'll see if I can get Kelly hit with an anvil or something. Yeah, Marie Claire is a real pain. She might be able to put Thunderbolt in his place. Key word: Might. I can imagine Kyle giving her a few good shots. Suggestions…Toad running out of restaurant with crowd chasing him demanding frog legs…Yeah, I can do that…Kelly getting his butt whooped by mimes…definitely an idea worth keeping around…Duncan getting beat up by angry muscled French guy…oh, that's another nice idea. I like your ideas, dude. I'll see what I can do. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, RogueFan! I would not be surprised if things between Kyle and Marie Claire degenerate into a slugfest. Enjoy the new chapter! Can hardly wait for the next chapter of "Light in the Heart of a Misfit"!_

_To Metal Dragon1: Hey there Metal Dragon! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Your suggestion just **had** to be taken into consideration, man. Don't worry, I don't think Kyle will ever change. I'll see if I can get Kelly beaned again **(John: Come on, guys! I need twenty bucks!)**. Yeah, Marie will get put in her place. Don't worry about it. And sure, you can borrow back Firestorm and BR. Have fun with them! Enjoy the new chapter! Can hardly wait for the new chapter of 'Take the Long Way Home'! _

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I read the new chapter of 'This Soap Opera Called Life' and I loved it! Man, that was one insane wedding! Poor Mystique! **(Mystique: I need a drink…)** I agree with you when you say that Kyle may have bitten off more than he can chew. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait for the new chapter of 'This Soap Opera Called Life'! _

**Disclaimer: "Has the whole world gone mad?!" - Raul Julia as Gomez Addams, Addams Family Values**

Chapter 3: The Tale Picks Up!

**A café in Paris**

Longshot was sitting at a café, waiting for his girlfriend Dazzler to come back. She had wanted to introduce herself to the new mutant. Longshot chuckled. Alison was a friendly girl. Meanwhile, he had asked another member of the West Coast Misfits to sit with him and keep him company.

"This café sure is beautiful. And it's even decorated for Christmas." Rahne Sinclair smiled. "And I heard the food here in France is delicious."

"Yeah, they say the French are good at food and art and stuff like that." Longshot shrugged. He was getting flustered, making Rahne laugh.

"Is something wrong?"

"Rahne…do you know any French?" Longshot turned the menu over in various angles in a rather comical-looking attempt to read it. "I can't read this!

"Just 'Thank you', and 'hello'…" Rahne answered in a thoughtful tone. "And I also know the French word for cheese."

"Great." Longshot groaned, putting his head on the table. "You can order us a big honking pile of cheese."

**A club in Paris**

"Man, look at all the chicks!" Terrell grinned. He, Tommy, and John were standing at the door of a club. "Whooo, mama!"

"You're right, mate. Some of these girls are rippa!" Tommy grinned. A pretty girl walked toward the shark-like mutant. She giggled and winked at the Australian mutant, then handed him a note with her number on it. "Whoa."

"_Awww!_" Terrell groaned. He then looked at John. "Why are you carrying that anvil?" John blinked.

"I don't really know." The Apache mutant replied, blinking. "Why **am **I carrying this? Bah!" He threw the large metal anvil out the door. The anvil flew across the street, clocking a passing-by Senator Kelly upside the head.

"I am Batman…" Kelly mumbled before dropping to the ground face-first.

**At the ****Eiffel ****Tower**

"Man, what a view." Ace grinned from the observation lounge up at the top of the tower. "This is awesome WHOA!!!" Ace moved to get out of the way of a screaming Duncan Matthews, who was being mauled by poodles. The dogs leapt off Duncan and ran away as the American football player fell over the railing with a scream. "Man, that dude has no luck."

"What was that, amour?" Tarot asked Ace as she walked up to him, holding two ice cream cones. Ace smiled and took one.

"Ah, nothing." Ace shrugged, happily licking his ice cream. "Yummy. So tell me something, Card-Girl. What brings you back to the old country? Homesick?"

"You…could say that." Marie-Ange nodded. "It has been so long since I have been back here to France."

"It sure is a pretty country." Ace chuckled.

"Thank you." Tarot smiled. "You should see it at night. Then you'll see personally why it's called the 'City of Lights'. You have seen Paris at night?"

"Only on the tube, babe. Only on the tube." Ace replied. He noticed something strange. "Something's not right?"

"Is there something wrong with the ice cream?" Tarot wondered.

"No, it's not the ice cream…" Ace noticed a figure in a black trenchcoat and hat. "Marie-Ange, you notice something funny about that guy?" Tarot blinked.

"Non."

"Look closer." Ace pointed at the guy's head. It was glowing red. Tarot blinked.

"I highly doubt that is normal." Tarot blinked. "And coming from a mutant, that is something."

"I got this." Ace walked up to the man. "Hey buddy, is something wrong with your-" The man turned and pointed his arm at Ace. The American feral found a gun-ended arm put at his face. "B.A.T.!!!" Ace barely managed to get out of the way of the laser blast. It hit the ground.

"ACE!!" Tarot exclaimed. The B.A.T. took off running.

"I'm alright! C'mon, Tarot!" Ace gave chase to the android Cobra Trooper, Tarot not far behind. The two mutants raced after the android. Ace dared not use his claw lasers on it, because he might miss and hit somebody. The B.A.T ran down the stairs of the tower.

**d'Agastino**** Industries**

"Zis, ladies and gentlemen, is ze Broadcast Energy Transmitter, Mark 2!" Gerard pointed out the new and improved B.E.T. to the Malibu Joes. Kicker, Jester, Rock 'n' Roll, and Dial-Up were already there to view it, alongside Siryn and X23. It looked like the old B.E.T., only more compact, yet something about its design showed it was significantly more powerful than the first version.

"I totally can't believe they, like, rebuilt it." Wipe-Out whispered to Kicker. The blonde ninja nodded.

"It's a great concept, the B.E.T." Kicker whispered back. "Create energy, then send it to where it's needed."

"But we weren't able to protect it the first time, and we had help from the other Joes and the East Coast guys." X23 added. Siryn noticed Marie-Claire.

"Hello. Me name's Theresa Rourke. I am the West Coast Misfits' leader." Theresa smiled at the spoiled French girl. "We heard you were a mutant. I am one, too. I have the ability to generate sonic vibrations. What about ye?" Marie Claire scowled.

"I do not care what your name is, nor do I care what kind of powers you have. Mon pere called you because he was worried how I would handle my new powers? He is afraid of me."

"No, he's not afraid _of_ ye, he's afraid _for_ ye." Theresa shook her head. "Me father and uncle are mutants themselves. They knew what I went through. Your father's only concerned for ye."

"Good for you, and good for him." Marie Claire huffed. "I do not care.

"Show some respect, jabroni!" Kyle snapped.

"Oh God, here we go…" "Your old man is just trying to help! If you were the Thunderbolt's sister, the Thunderbolt's old man would kick your sorry head in for being a disrespectful little ingrate like that, powers or not!"

"Do you ever shut up?!" Marie Claire snapped back.

"The Thunderbolt thinks your old man should have spanked you more often!" Kyle snapped. Marie Claire growled.

"You are a loudmouth! _You_ should learn some respect!" Marie Claire held out her arm and her eyes glowed. Kyle screamed as he suddenly felt an invisible weight press down on him. And it was increasing in strength. Instinctively, Kyle's body was covered by an electrical field. "Maybe a few thousand pounds' worth of respect."

"Back off, Marie Claire!" Gerard exclaimed. "You'll crush him like an egg!"

"No…" To everyone's shock, Kyle seemed to be fighting the weight. He was doing it with a combination of his own electrical powers and his willpower. "No…one…orders…me…**_around!_**" Kyle roared. Electricity burst from his body, forming a support structure around him. He then leapt out from under the structure, and smacked Marie Claire across the mouth. The French girl fell on her butt, a shocked look on her face. Kyle stood at her feet. The Bostonian smirked.

"Never underestimate the willpower of a man who descended from an American colonist." Kyle smirked.

Well, well, well, that was weird! What insanity will happen next? Will Kyle and Marie Claire go at it again? What was up with the B.A.T.? Will Longshot ever be able to read the menu? And will Chilljaw get lucky? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	4. Attacks!

**Christmas in France**

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky! The West Coast Misfits run into a Pepe Le Pew-like mutant who gets a thing for Rahne like Pepe Le Pew had for Penelope the Cat, and Kyle kicks his butt? I LIKE IT!!! That's a pretty cool idea, dude. I'll see if I can fit it in somewhere. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Firefly25: Hey there, Firefly! Yeah, Ace and Tarot bonding is really cute. Well, Monet, Sharon, and Jenny can't snap at Marie-Ange for attempting to steal Ace away from them, if they don't know about it. As far as they know, Ace is not in __France__, but Tarot is. I agree, Marie Claire would benefit from some time with the West Coast Misfits. Hmm, the ability to toss stuff around, huh? Well, that would be quite a talent. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to beta-read the new chapter of 'Reindeer Flotilla'!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! I read the new chapters of "This Soap Opera Called Life" and I loved them! Maybe Magneto should go into another line of work. Oh yeah, you can bet Marie-Claire and Kyle will butt heads a lot. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait for the new chapter of "This Soap Opera Called Life"!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! Indeed, never underestimate someone's willpower, especially when it belongs to one Kyle "Thunderbolt" Wildfire. His powers kind of depend on willpower in a way. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Metal Dragon1: Hey there Metal Dragon! Did you get that e-mail I sent you? I hope it helped you out, man. Yeah, ol' John deserved that money. I'm glad you liked that scene with the anvil. Yes, Cobra has arrived. I'm glad you liked seeing Kyle take Marie-Claire down a peg. And you can expect she won't take that lying down. Kyle's powers depend on his willpower in a way. He created a support structure as his subconscious's way of showing Kyle was fighting Marie-Claire's powers with his own will and desire to kick her butt. And sure, you can borrow back Firestorm and BR. Have fun with them! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read the new chapter of 'Take the Long Way Home'!_

**Disclaimer: "It's an Addams!" - Raul Julia as Gomez Addams, Addams Family Values**

Chapter 4: Attacks!

**A club in Paris**

John Proudstar, Terrell Mason, and Thomas Sharpe were having the time of their lives in this. John was talking with an American girl who was a military brat, Terrell was dancing with triplets, and Tommy was sitting at a table, talking with the French girl who had flirted with him earlier.

"Man, I love France!" Terrell grinned. "I have no idea why they say this place sucks!"

"You got me." John chuckled. He then turned back to the girl he was chatting with.

"I have never met a real Australian. Tell me, how long have you looked like that?" The French girl asked Tommy.

"All me life, Sheila." Tommy replied. "It's kind of a joke among me family, considering me parents are world-renowned shark experts."

"Yeah! To them, Fishface over there is their greatest experiment!" John teased.

"Aw shut your trap, Apache!" Tommy playfully snapped back. An explosion was heard outside. "What was _that?!_"

"I got it! Excuse me, ladies." Terrell grinned. With a wink, he zipped outside. The outer wall exploded and Terrell came through with it. "YEOW!!!"

"Terrell!" Tommy and John exclaimed as they helped up their comrade.

"B.A.T.s, man…" Terrell groaned as he got to his feet. John looked out the wall hole and saw several of the robotic soldiers.

"Oh great. Just when things are starting to go well." Thunderbird grumbled.

**Outside the ****Eiffel ****Tower**

"Rope Card!" Tarot created a rope from a card she carried. She lassoed the B.A.T., but she ended up getting dragged behind the running android. "Help me!" Ace was running on all fours, utilizing the enhanced speed his lion-based mutation provided.

"Hang on, Card-girl!" Ace called. He grabbed Tarot and put her arms around his neck.

"Ooh, I like this ride!" Tarot grinned.

"Eat laser, you Terminator wannabe!" Ace hollered at the B.A.T. He fired a blue beam from his claw at the robot. He blasted the B.A.T.'s leg, causing the leg to buckle and the android to fall. Ace leaped on the android soldier and shredded the body wide open with energy-charged claws. "That took care of it, and since the head is intact, we can find out what this thing was up to."

"Does this mean our date is over?" Tarot moaned. Ace smirked.

"No, the date's far from over, babe." Ace smirked. "Just means we gotta hit a couple extra spots."

**d'Agastino**** Industries**

"You…you…" Marie-Claire stammered as she got to her feet.

"I…I…I…what?" Kyle mocked.

"How could you stand that weight?" She said in shock.

"You'd be surprised what a man can do with enough will." Kyle scowled. "Not to mention the Thunderbolt's powers. All he had to do was create a construct that could hold up all that weight you were pushing down on the Thunderbolt." Marie-Claire scowled.

"You expect me to believe zat you could fight off my power like zat?!" Marie-Claire snapped.

"Yeah." Kyle snarled.

"Alright, ye two! That's enough!" Siryn separated the two. "Miss d'Agastino, you need an attitude adjustment. Badly."

"Do not think you can order me around!" Marie-Claire scowled at Theresa. "I am a blue-blood! My family has ties to old royal family of France!"

"Always wanted to give a French royal a good punch in the mouth!" Kyle snapped. He tried to throw a swing, but he wasn't able to reach.

"Kyle, be quiet!" Theresa snapped.

"Yeah sure! Take the Frenchie's side!" Kyle snapped.

"That…Thunderbolt is an unrefined commoner." Marie-Claire scowled.

"At least the Thunderbolt's not an arrogant, spoiled, snot-nosed, pastry-chewing, sissy Frenchie!" Kyle roared.

"How **dare** you!" Marie-Claire screeched.

"Both of ye calm down!" Siryn snapped. "Kyle, I know ye don't like being here."

"The Thunderbolt hates France!"

"If it weren't for us, you would still be under English rule!" Marie-Claire snapped at Kyle.

"And if it weren't for us, you'd be speaking German!" Kyle snapped back.

"Those two are way 'Alpha Male', dudes." Wipe-Out groaned. "Totally."

Well, well, well! Looks like the madness shall continue! What insanity will happen next? What was up with the B.A.T.? What happened in the club? Who is behind this? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	5. Confrontations!

**Christmas in ****France******

_To Firefly25: Hey there Firefly! Yeah, __Paris__ is introduced to Cobra's B.A.T.s, and I hope none of them have explosive devices either. I didn't read that story arc, but I had heard it was good. Dreadnoks going crazy and all that. If those fights make the international news and the other Hellion Girls see Tarot with Ace, you bet they won't exactly be happy. Overkill? I did get to see Valor vs. Venom and Overkill. New variants? We'll see. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Let me see…Tommy, as an aquatic creature, sensitive about frog's legs. I like the suggestion, but personally, I think he'd be more offended by the thought of someone like shark fin soup. Frog's legs would most likely get Todd a little hot under the collar. I hope you like the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! I read the new chapter of 'This Soap Opera Called Life', and I loved it! Man, some people can be such ingrates. I can't wait to see what you have planned next! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait to hear more from you!_

_To Metal Dragon1: Hey there Metal Dragon! I'm glad you got the e-mail and I'm glad it helped. Yep, Cobra is indeed back. And it is obvious what they are after! Where did the Joes go? Focus problems, man. Focus problems. Sorry the chapter was short. Final Exam time, you know. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! Yeah, Kyle and Marie-Claire are at odds. This definitely is not going well. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there RogueFan! Yeah, maybe if we're lucky, Kyle and Marie-Claire will end up being too busy tearing apart B.A.T.s to tear into each other. Here's the new chapter! Hope you like it! _

**Disclaimer: "Son, you're going to drive me to drinkin' if you don't stop drivin' in that hot rod ****Lincoln****" - Jim Varney**

Chapter 5: Confrontation!

**d'Agastino**** Industries**

"Again, I must apologize for Marie-Claire's behavior." Gerard sighed to the Malibu Joes codenamed Kicker, Wipe-Out, Torpedo, and Firestorm.

"She's a spoiled child. Love to put her through Hell Week for you. That would whip her into shape." Torpedo chuckled. Wipe-Out groaned. Gerard blinked.

"Hell Week? I do not understand." He blinked at a laughing Torpedo.

"It's a training program for Navy SEALs back home." Kicker glared at the Hawaiian.

"She has been like zis since her mother died a while back." Gerard sighed. "She was a nice girl, but after Angelique died, she changed. She became the person she is now. Now that she has…how do you say…special abilities…I fear something bad may happen to her."

"She's probably just dealing with it her own way." Kicker suggested. "The loss of a parent can be very tough on a kid. She's probably just hiding her pain." She heard an explosion. "Oh God…" She ran outside. What she saw was shocking. Siryn, Dazzler, and Rictor were knocked senseless. And Marie-Claire and Thunderbolt were fighting each other!

"Eat this, you stupid American!" Marie-Claire screamed, using her gravitational powers to hurl a heavy crate at an enraged Thunderbolt. Kyle was hovering in the air in an electrical field.

"You call that an attack, jabroni?!" Kyle laughed. "Typical Frenchie!" He created a whip of electrical power from his fist, and cracked it at the crate, slicing it in two. "You Frenchies need to take some lessons from Napoleon! That goofy short little dork was the only Frenchie who had a clue how to fight!" Kyle fired an electrical blast at Marie-Claire, and the French girl just barely managed to dodge it.

"You arrogant Americans think you are so much better than everyone else!" Marie-Claire snapped.

"Alright you two, **_KNOCK IT OFF!!!!_**" Kicker shouted. The two mutants immediately stopped. A moaning Siryn, Dazzler, and Rictor got to their feet.

"Ohhhh, my head…" Ali moaned.

"Man, that senorita can really throw down." Rictor grumbled.

"Aie, and I thought Thunderbolt _alone_ had a bad temper." Theresa grumbled.

"What's going on here?!" The blonde Joe demanded.

"She called America a bunch of self-centered jerks!" Kyle snapped.

"And _he_ said we French are too afraid to fight!" Marie-Claire screeched.

"You Frenchies _are_ a bunch of cowards!" Kyle roared.

"Okay, you two! Stop this!" Kicker snapped. "Now I know that you two do not like each other very much."

"That's an understatement." Ali groaned.

"Now Kyle, I know you are very proud of being an American." Kicker said.

"Got that right! The Thunderbolt will _not_ stand for people insulting his country!"

"Kyle, you have got to realize that we are in another country now. They have their own way of doing things here." Kicker explained.

"Hah!" Marie-Claire smirked. Kicker glared.

"And _you_, Miss d'Agastino, you seriously need to stop with the arrogant act." Kicker glared. "It gets very old, very fast. I know you have…personal issues of your own, but you cannot go around treating everyone around you like garbage."

"The Thunderbolt will gladly teach her a five-fingered lesson in respect!" Kyle snapped, clenching his fist.

"Kyle, be quiet!" Kicker snapped.

**The club in Paris**

"Hah!" John grinned as he used one B.A.T. like a baseball bat to smash several others. "I love this stuff!"

"Too bad I couldn't get the numbers of those hot triplets." Terrell grumbled to himself as he used his super speed and wind control powers to crush several B.A.T.s.

"What I'd like to know is mates, who is sending these things?!" Tommy growled. He spat ice water at the B.A.T.s, freezing them solid, and then he used his strength to smash them into tiny pieces. The three warrior mutants didn't notice a figure watching them. He was clad in what appeared to be a ratty gray trenchcoat. He was wearing on his head a blue helmet like Cobra Commander's, only it lacked the metal faceplate. The lower half of his face was covered by a red scarf, and his eyes indicated that he did look human. He was watching from an alley.

"My B.A.T.s!" The hidden figure whispered in horror. His voice was twitchy and a little electronic-sounding. "My poor troops. Must they sacrifice themselves so for a cause as noble as Cobra. Well, don't worry my fellow machines! Overkill shall avenge you!" The figure snarled, clenching his fist. "Those pathetic organics shall pay! Overkill _promises_ that!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the insanity will continue! What madness will happen next? Who was that mysterious figure? Has Kicker been able to play peace negotiator? What are the others up to? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	6. Going to Charity!

**Christmas in ****France**

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Indeed, it does. The Joes high-wiring the B.A.T.s and making them think they're French can-can dancers? AHHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! I like that idea! I'll see if I can fit it in somewhere! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Firefly25: Hey there Firefly! I always thought of Overkill as a cyborg soldier with a lot of mental baggage. Knowing that miswired moron, he's likely under Cobra orders. I doubt he and Virus get along. Virus likes to torment people, and what better way to torment a soldier who thinks he's a robot than to use other robots as guinea pigs. Besides, as far as Virus is concerned, B.A.T.s are dumb machines, and Overkill is no different, only he has more features and can talk. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to beta-read the new chapter of 'Reindeer Flotilla'!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red! I read the last chapters of "This Soap Opera Called Life" and your Holiday fic and I loved them! Fried Santa, anyone? Who knew Evan was so devious? Gotta give him credit though, he fooled everyone. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Metal Dragon1: Hey there, Metal! By focus problems, I mean it is difficult to give every character a place in the spotlight. I may have to do a series of solo stories. There are some definite 'stars' in the West Coast Team: Wildstar, Thunderbolt, and X23. Where de monkey go? He's with Firestorm! My testing period is over, but then I got writers' block for a while. Oh, well. Yeah, the image of Marie-Claire being forced through Hell Week is rather amusing. Yep, the West Coast Misfits are meeting Overkill, the loony cyborg from Valor vs. Venom. They definitely will have their hands full. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read the new chapter of 'Take the Long Way Home'! Please put it up, quick!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! You bet the arguments are going to heat up! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Dahhhhh, nobody wants to play with me." - Jim Carrey as Ace ****Ventura****, Ace ****Ventura****: When Nature Calls**

Chapter 6: Going to Charity!

**A limo going down the streets of Paris**

"Again, I must thank you for helping me protect ze new B.E.T. Mark II." Gerard d'Agastino said to the Malibu Joes as they rode in a limo.

"No problem, Monseiur d'Agastino." Firestrom grinned, BR hooting on his shoulder.

"Tell us again, what are you doing?" Torpedo blinked.

"Well, every year on Christmas, I do a little bit of charity work." Gerard grinned. "A little way of giving back to the community."

"I think that's very nice." Kicker grinned.

"Plus, I can reveal the new and improved B.E.T." Gerard added. In a truck following the limo was the new, improved B.E.T. under a light brown tarp. The truck was being driven by Wipe-Out. In the truck was Dazzler, Siryn, Rictor, Marie-Claire, and Thunderbolt.

"God help us if those two start fighting in the truck, man." Rictor gulped at the thought of Marie-Claire and Kyle facing off again.

"Relax, lad." Theresa smiled at the young Mexican mutant. "Wipe-Out had a pretty ingenious idea for keeping them under control." Theresa pointed with her thumb, grinning. The Irish girl was pointing at Kyle and Marie-Claire. The two were sound asleep, and they were tied up and gagged. "Wipe-Out knocked them out, then tied them up and gagged them."

"Not to mention injected a sedative in them to put into Dreamland." Ali added with a smirk. "Make fun of my hair, will she? By the way, where is Sunfire?"

"Sunfire's at the charity ball where Mr. d'Agastino is going to show off the BET." Siryn answered. "He'd meet us there."

"He doesn't seem like the type to go to parties to me, man."

"Knowing him, he's just standing around in costume waiting for action." Ali chuckled.

**Downtown ****Paris**

"Man Dial-Up, I am the luckiest man alive." Jester grinned. The Joe pilot and prankster was sitting across from Dial-Up, A Japanese woman who served as Malibu Base's communications officer. Even though her face was calm, her eyes showed she wasn't too happy.

"This is not a date, Jester. I only agreed to this because you were the only one who was willing to go to the art museum with me." Dial-Up said. "I had two tickets and it would be wasteful to just use one."

"Dial-Up, I'd gladly go to the ballet if it meant I got to sit next to you." Jester grinned. Dial-Up groaned.

"Oh look, the children have arrived." Dial-Up said, some relief in her voice. Rahne and Longshot walked up to the two Malibu Joes.

"Fancy meeting you guys here." Longshot grinned. Jester chuckled.

"You know Ali is going to be furious if she finds you messing around with Wolfsbane, Longshot." Jester chuckled. Longshot rolled his eyes.

"Ye're crazy, Jester." Rahne laughed. "It's nothing like that."

"Don't worry Jester, Ali knows I'm with Rahne. She wanted to meet the new mutant, and Rahne and I wanted to sightsee."

"Ace?" Rahne wondered as she recognized a familiar figure. Ace walked up to them, looking like he was in a bit of a scuffle. Next to him was Tarot.

"Hey dudes." Ace grinned. He was holding a black robot head.

"Ace, is that a Battle Android Trooper?" Dial-Up asked in shock.

"It's a robot, and it stunk of snake, so yup." Ace nodded.

"What's she doing here?" Longshot pointed at Tarot.

"I am from this country." Tarot crossed her arms. "Do you have a problem, Other-Worlder?"

"Tarot, be nice." Ace said sternly to the French Hellion.

"Sorry."

"I think we have a problem." Jester gulped as he took the B.A.T. head and looked at it.

"I also took this thing from its chest." Ace grinned as he pulled out a quarter-roll sized black cylinder from his pocket. "My friends, you are looking at a B.A.T.'s 'black box'."

"We could use it to figure out what a B.A.T. was doing in Paris." Dial-Up nodded as she took it.

"If it's from Cobra, then its nae good." Rahne shook her head. Her watch bleeped. She looked at it and her eyes widened. "Guys! Terrell, John, and Tommy! They are in trouble!"

"Are you sure it's a good idea to bring the redhead?" Jester whispered to Dial-Up. The Japanese woman blinked.

"Rahne is one of us."

"No, the other one."

"Tarot? She's harmless around Wildstar."

**Elsewhere in ****Paris**

"You filthy monsters!" The cyborg Cobra agent Overkill roared as he leapt out of nowhere. His arms morphed into machine guns and he started firing at the West Coast Misfits codenamed Thunderbird, Velocity, and Chilljaw.

"Remind me again why Sunfire didn't want to come with us?" John grumbled as the three mutants ducked behind a car.

"He said he had other things to do." Terrell groaned. "Yeah, right. He never was too social."

"Eat ice water, you cheap pile of tin!" Tommy spit ice water at Overkill. All it did was get him wet. Overkill laughed.

"Stupid organics. I have defensive capabilities against all you freaks." Overkill snorted. Tommy gulped.

"I think we're in trouble."

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are in trouble! What insanity will happen next? Can Thunderbird, Chilljaw, and Velocity stop Overkill? Can our heroes protect the BET? What'll happen when Kyle and Marie-Claire wake up? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	7. Confrontation!

**Christmas in ****France******

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red! I read the new chapter of 'Holidays Are Hazardous To Your Health' and I loved it! Man, talk about your holiday tension. And yes, our heroes are in trouble! Glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy this new one, and I can't wait to read more from you._

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky! Don't get me wrong, I like your idea, but I don't think it would be appropriate. Kyle is only 13. Oh well. I hope you like the new chapter! _

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy this new chapter and Merry Christmas to you too!_

**Disclaimer: "What did he mean by exact change?" - William Shatner as Admiral James T. Kirk, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home**

Chapter 7: Confrontation!

**A ballroom in Paris**

Toshiro Yashida, the Japanese West Coast Misfit codenamed Sunfire, was standing at the wall of a ballroom. He was in his Sunfire costume, and he appeared to be bored. Not to mention he felt a little lost. After all, he spoke no French, and not many of these party-goers, business executives and the like, spoke a lick of Japanese. His mask bleeped, and the Solar Samurai snapped to his feet.

"Sunfire here."

"Toshi, is anything going down?" Theresa's voice came out of Toshi's mask's internal headset.

"Besides being…how do you Westerners say it…bored to tears, nothing of any significance whatsoever. How is the industrialist and the device?" The Japanese mutant replied.

"Everything's going without a hitch so far." Theresa said. "We had an…incident with Thunderbolt and Marie-Claire d'Agastino, the company owner's daughter. She's got a pretty good handle on her powers already from what we saw." Toshiro nodded.

"I am not surprised." Toshi remembered something. "I heard about her…abrasiveness. Only natural a personality like hers would clash with a personality like Thunderbolt's."

"Abrasive is an understatement. We had to sedate them to keep them from tearing each other apart."

"Why am I not surprised?" Toshi chuckled. "I hope you arrive quickly. This party is becoming rather dull."

"We'll be there in a couple minutes, Toshi. How is Beast King?" Toshi looked up.

"His is one very bored bee."

**Downtown ****Paris**

"You shall fall before the might of the Apache, robot!" John Proudstar roared as the hot-headed teenager charged Overkill, intent on pounding the mechanically-enhanced Cobra into next year's slag with his bare hands. The goofy cyborg smirked.

"The Apache are still stupid organics." Overkill laughed. His fingers on his right hand extended into whip-like cables. He flicked his arm and wrist in a sideways motion. The whips wrapped themselves around the Apache mutant's neck and upper body. He then sent John flying sideways over his head and the Apache mutant landed hard on his back on a car hood. Taking the opportunity, Tommy leapt on Overkill, catching him in a sleeper hold. Terrell raced around Overkill, firing punches at incredible speed.

"Fall…you…dumb…tin…can…fall!" Terrell screamed.

"Come on, you Mega Man wannabe, time for a nap…" Tommy growled as he tried to keep his hold on a struggling Overkill. The cyborg screamed and grabbed Tommy. He threw the shark-like mutant over his shoulders, slamming him into Terrell, causing the two mutants to crash into each other hard. They fell to the ground, groaning.

"I have had enough!" Overkill snarled. His right hand opened up and a gun barrel emerged from his palm. He pointed it at Terrell and Tommy and fired. An energy beam flew out of his hand and hit the two mutants. They were trapped in a strange orange energy field. Overkill heard John groan as he got up. The cyborg fired his beam and trapped the Apache warrior as well.

"Stupid organics. They fell under the might of my tech." Overkill cackled happily.

**Elsewhere in ****Paris**

"Man, I love the cops in this town! They are so AWESOME!!!" Ace Starr whooped from behind the wheel of a police car.

"This is a lot like that movie with Burt Reynolds, no?" Tarot laughed from the passenger seat. Ace chuckled.

"Yeah, 'Smokey and the Bandit'. I have that movie on DVD. Jackie Gleason was at his best in that one." The American feral mutant grinned.

"You know, mon amour, in the end, Burt Reynolds kissed Sally Field." Tarot purred. Ace looked at her with a smirk that made the French girl melt.

"Well, we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?" Ace grinned. The car jerked as the two ran over Senator Kelly. Following the cop car was another car the others commandeered.

"I cannot believe Ace actually convinced a pair of police officers to let him take their car." Dial-Up shook her head from the passenger seat.

"Well, he did. I guess being an American superhero has its advantages." Jester chuckled from the driver's seat.

"Jester, keep your eyes on the road!" Longshot exclaimed.

"What will we do? What's going on with the B.A.T.s?" Rahne wondered.

"I can't reach Velocity, Chilljaw, or Thunderbird." Dial-Up said. "Something is very wrong here."

"If there are B.A.T.s, then you know Cobra is up to something." Jester sighed. "But what?"

"Wait!" Longshot realized. "The new B.E.T.! The Broadcast Energy Transmitter Mark II! They're going to try and get their scaly claws on it again!"

"But Cobra-La was destroyed **(1)**! Why would they come after it again?" Jester wondered.

**(1) - See "GI Joe, The Movie: Evo-tized!"**

"Ye nae need a B.E.T. to raise an ancient civilization." Rahne shook her head. "Just because they cannae raise up an ancient civilization with the B.E.T., that does nae mean that the B.E.T. has no value to them."

"Yeah, she does have a point." Longshot said. "The Broadcast Energy Transmitter allows one generator to power numerous electrical devices remotely. Imagine the possibilities."

"One battalion of tanks could be sent practically anywhere, and their energy source is safely back at base camp. They'll never have to worry about running out of gas, because the energy is transmitted remotely." Jester blinked. "Yeah, and if Cobra gets their paws on it, they will be unstoppable."

"Well, what're we waiting for?!" Longshot whooped. "Let's get them!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the craziness will continue! What insanity will happen next? Will our heroes be able to save the day? What happened to Velocity, Chilljaw, and Thunderbird? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	8. A Plot Begins!

**Christmas in ****France******

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Kyle paying a prank on Marie-Claire that gets her dressed up like Cyndi Lauper? That's an interesting prank. And yes, you can borrow back Leathersuit. I didn't see the address of your story. Enjoy the new chapter. You'll probably have to e-mail it to me._

_To Firefly25: Hey there Firefly. Yeah, poor old Thunderbird always lets his pride do the thinking for him in battle. You do have a point, but as far as GI Joe is concerned, Cobra La no longer exists. It was completely annihilated. Yeah, I have been on the Marvel Directory website. Pretty informative, but a bit out of date in places. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I read the new chapters of "Holidays Are Hazardous To Your Health" and I loved them! Demons caroling, and mistletoe madness, oh my! I liked it when Kelly tried to call the cops and they laughed at him. Yeah, I do believe that Sunfire and Beast King won't be bored for much longer. Yeah, baking and wrapping is a real pain. At least Christmas is only a few days away! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! Yeah, "Smokey and the Bandit" is an awesome movie. Jackie Gleason was at his best in that one. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! I'm glad you liked the fight scene. It won't be pretty when Kyle and Marie-Claire wake up. Is Marie-Claire going to join the West Coast Misfits? You'll see. You bet it's going to be a tough fight once the rest of the team face off against Overkill. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Well, baby needs a beer!" - Mike Judge as Hank Hill, King of the Hill**

Chapter 8: A Plot Starts!

**A ballroom in Paris**

Toshiro Yashida, the Japanese pyrokinetic and West Coast Misfit codenamed Sunfire, stood watching the executives talk and dance. It was an annual Christmas ball, which raised money for charity. The teenager looked extraordinarily bored. He took off his mask, revealing his handsome features and short black hair. A bee buzzed down next to him. The minute it touched the ground, the small insect grew in size and changed in shape, turning into an 18-year-old California boy with long blond hair, clad in a green, white, and black costume. His name was Jack McCormick, a native of Malibu, California. A surfer bum at heart, Jack was known as the Beast King for his mutant power to transform himself into any animal.

"Hey dude! Man, you look totally down." Jack grinned. "Something eating away at you?"

"If you _must_ know…" Toshi replied with a little annoyance in his voice. The Solar Samurai wasn't the most social person on Earth. "I am bored. I cannot really engage in intelligent conversation to anyone here because no one here knows much English or Japanese."

"I totally speak English! We can talk." Jack suggested with a grin. Toshiro looked up at his teammate.

"As I has said, I cannot engage in intelligent conversation with anyone here." Toshi smirked. Evidently the solar-powered mutant just told a joke. Jack grimaced at Toshi and crossed his arms.

"Dude, that was not cool." Jack grimaced. "I was just trying to be nice."

"Did you find anything suspicious?" Toshiro asked, quickly changing the subject. Jack thought about it.

"Not really, dude." Jack shook his head. "I've been over this place as a bee and as a bug, and besides nearly getting crushed several times, and nearly getting swatted around like a ping-pong ball, I saw nothing." The blond sighed.

"Hey guys!" Ali grinned as she walked up in costume, hugging them. "I hope you haven't been bored."

"No, we are entertained." Toshi grumbled. His voice didn't show it, but he was obviously being sarcastic. He put his mask back on.

"Oh, don't be so cold, Toshi. We got the B.E.T. loaded up and they should be presenting it soon. Don't worry about it. Haven't you guys found a way to entertain yourselves?"

"Throwing insults at Jack is always entertaining." Toshi chuckled.

"Hey!"

**A warehouse in Paris**

"My beloved army…" Overkill paced up and down a large crate, looking down on his troops of B.A.T.s like they were soldiers and he was General Patton. "Today, the mighty Cobra Commander has given us a mission of the utmost importance! You all have a chance to become immortal today, my soldiers. To become legends. To become Cobra heroes! We are to attack a Christmas Ball held by that filthy organic Gerard d' Agastino and obtain the B.E.T. With it, Cobra will be invincible!" The B.A.T.s all raised their fists, beeping like a chant. "Yes, my soldiers! YES!! We shall rule France! And Cobra will rule the world!" Overkill started cackling like the loony little cyborg he was. "Oh yes! As you see, I have already captured these prisoners of war!" Overkill gestured to a curtain behind him. The curtain opened up, revealing an unconscious Thunderbird, Velocity, and Chilljaw, all shackled to the wall by rings of green energy. "These three are among the strongest members of the West Coast Misfits, with Thunderbird and Chilljaw's strength and Velocity's speed. When we're done, the West Coast Misfits and Joes will fall and the B.E.T. will fall and the day will be ours!" What Overkill didn't realize was that a certain feral clone was watching.

_I knew it! I knew my instincts were right on the money!_ X23 mentally snarled. _If Cobra's here, then something really bad is going to go down._

**A ballroom in Paris**

"Man, this party is a bit on the boring side." Rictor sighed. "And if only Athena were here. _She'd_ know how to lighten up a mood with her sparkling wit, man."

"Aye, but ye know her. Always got to be the 'lone wolf', no pun intended." Theresa rolled her eyes. "Besides, she kept mumblin' something about finding something to do. Knowing her, she's probably found herself in the middle of a bar fight."

"I feel sorry for any poor sap she decides to fight then." Rictor laughed. A crashing was heard backstage. "Oh no! Kyle and Marie-Claire woke up."

Well, well, well! Looks like Overkill just may crash the party! What insanity will happen next? Will X23 be able to warn the others? Will Overkill get the B.E.T? Can our heroes save the day? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	9. Attack of the BATs, Part 1!

**Christmas in ****France******

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky! The West Coast Misfits hotwiring Overkill and making him sing the __Styx__ classic 'Mr. Roboto' while having him do the robot dance? I LIKE IT!!! I'll see if I can fit that in somewhere! Enjoy the new chapters!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red! I read the last chapters of 'Holidays are Hazardous to your Health' and I loved them! Sorry I didn't review the last two. I was sick. Yeah, something tells me that Overkill has bitten off a lot more than his metal jaw can chew. I never had Italian Christmas cookies. Are they good? Enjoy the new chapter! _

_To Firefly25: Hey there Firefly! Yeah, I guess Overkill's little 'tribute' to Patton is slightly disturbing in its own way. You can definitely bet that the Joes will love to add Overkill's performance to their 'Cobra's Funniest Home Videos' collection. Knowing Theresa and Rictor, I'm sure that they brought **some** way to keep Kyle and Marie-Claire under in case of emergency. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! I'm glad you liked the last chapter. You're right, whenever you're in a superhero team, never say that you are bored, otherwise action will come to you in a big way. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Welcome to Earth." - Will Smith, Independence Day**

**Author's Note: Hey folks! L1701E here! The reason I haven't really been doing anything for a few days is because I've been sick, I've had writer's block, and I've had some family troubles. What a way to run a Christmas. Hopefully I can get myself back in the saddle. Enjoy the long-awaited new chapter!**

Chapter 9: Attack of the B.E.T.s, Part 1!

**The streets of Paris**

"Now, where in the name of everything cool is that d'Agastino Industries place?" Ace groaned as he looked around from the driver's seat of a French police car. Tarot was sitting next to him, looking through a map.

"Uhm…let me see…I know it is somewhere along this road…" Marie-Ange mumbled as she moved the map around, looking rather comical.

"What is he doing?!" Jester exclaimed as their car struggled to keep up with Ace.

"I don't know about you guys, but Ace sure has a talent for taking anything he drives and making it go completely crazy." Longshot chuckled.

"Yes." Rahne agreed. "Ace really demonstrates that well with his blue Ferrari." The red-haired Scot tried not to laugh. _Besides, Ace is not even **half** as dangerous on a road as Kitty. God am I glad I never had to give Kitty driving lessons._ The Joes and West Coast Misfits heard their watch blink and beep.

"This is Dial-Up." Dial-Up replied on her watch.

"X23 here. You guys will **not** believe this." X23's voice came from the watch. "I was at this warehouse. I saw this kook there talking to a whole slew of B.A.T.s like they were soldiers and he was General Patton or something. It was kind of weird." Dial-Up, Jester, Longshot, and Rahne all shot each other strange looks. "And I think I saw Velocity, Thunderbird, and Chilljaw with them. They appeared to be bound and incapacitated."

"Are you for real, X?" Jester blinked.

"JESTER, WATCH THE ROAD!!!" Rahne screamed.

**A ballroom in Paris**

Kyle Wildfire and Marie-Claire d'Agastino both sat at a wall, smoking and covered in ash.

"Longshot should _never_ anger you in the slightest, Alison." Toshiro blinked. Ali formed her smoking hand into a gun and blew on her finger.

"You should know, Samurai." Jack snickered. "You totally got fried by her once. During Thanksgiving **(1)**." Toshiro scowled at the blond surfer.

**(1) - See "What Are The West Coast Misfits Thankful For?"**

"If I were you, and I possessed any form of wisdom, I would keep quiet, you baka." The Japanese teenage mutant scowled. Jack took a step back, holding up his hands in a defensive position.

"Whoa dude. Easy. Easy. Back up, just totally cool the jets, man. Just cool the jets." Jack said in a calming tone.

"Calm down, boys." Ali put herself between them. "Has anyone seen the others? Longshot? Rahne? Ace? John?"

"They went out sightseeing and never reported." Toshi remembered. "Typical of those three. Velocity's obsession with girls, Thunderbird's Apache loner attitude, and Chilljaw's general ineptitude all together. I was not surprised."

"Relax, Toshi." Ali assured. "Terrell, John, and Tommy are tough guys. They can take care of themselves."

**Nearby the warehouse**

"Where are those idiots?" X23 scowled as she hid behind a pile of crates. A finger tapped her shoulder. The clone snarled and unsheathed her claws as she whirled around. "Ace…" She resheathed her claws. "I see you got my call."

"Yeah. You don't mind if I brought a friend, do you?" Ace pointed behind him, revealing Tarot. X23 blinked in confusion.

"What's she doing here?"

"Ace and I _were_ having a romantic day together until those foul robots showed up." Tarot scowled at the warehouse.

"Oh…kay." The clone blinked. "Where are the others?" Ace pointed across the warehouse front at another pile of crates. "What's the plan?"

"Here it is…" Ace whispered it into X23's ear. The clone nodded, and then her face formed a smirk as she pulled the hood of her costume over her face.

"Naturally, you and I go in first." X23 smirked.

"Well, both you and I have healing factors, X. So naturally, we go out and do the heavy stuff first." Ace chuckled.

"Do you think that your healing powers will allow you to survive B.A.T.s, amour?" Tarot asked Ace with some worry. Ace just tickled her chin.

"Don't worry, babe." Ace smirked. "It's going to take a lot more than a bunch of fancy tin cans to take me down."

"Ace is one of those people you can't get rid of." X23 joked. "Why do you think your teacher hates him so?"

"Oh yeah, Card-girl. You'll need these." Ace put a deck of cards in Tarot's hand. Tarot smirked.

"Cards are not the only weapon I have, mon amour." Ace smirked at the red-haired French girl's statement. He certainly knew what she was talking about.

Well, well, well! Looks like the B.A.T.s may not get a chance to strike! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes save the day? What of the Christmas party? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	10. Attack of the BATs, Part 2!

**Christmas in ****France******

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! Your mother once said that in University, and then the cops told her that her dad's motorbike was in the canal? That's very strange. How did your dad's motorbike end up in a canal? University…tell me, are you English? I'm half-English myself, on my mother's side. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! I'm glad you liked the way that Ali took care of the whole Kyle/Marie-Claire problem. I thought it would be funny for the others to be a little frightened of Ali, considering her general niceness and the fact she's very powerful. Ace, X23, Tarot, and Longshot are going to go try to rescue Terrell, John, and Tommy with help from Jester and Dial-Up. I think my New Year's is going to be good. My dad's coming home from the hospital (He'll be alright), and I'm much better. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Business is picking up!" - Good Ol' J.R.**

Chapter 10: Attack of the B.A.T.s, Part 2!

**Outside a warehouse in Paris**

Ace Starr and Athena, the West Coast Misfit members respectively codenamed Wildstar and X23, carefully crept up to the door of the warehouse. They quickly moved to a side of the door and nodded at the crates. Jester threw a grenade at the door and it blew wide open with a KABLAM!!!!

"**_WHAT?!_**" Overkill screamed.

"YO JOE!!!" Ace called out as he and X23 raced in. The Wolverine clone's claws on her hands and feet were unsheathed.

"Attack, my soldiers! Destroy them! They are merely two organics!" Overkill ordered loudly.

"Two organics who can take on lickin' and still keep on tickin'!" Ace whooped as he and X23 tore into the B.A.Ts. Ace Starr slashed through B.A.Ts with energy-charged claws on his left hand while he used his right hand to blast the robotic soldiers with his claw lasers.

"This is just like gardening. Only the weeds are uglier." Quipped X23 as she happily slashed the soldiers to pieces. Overkill watched this with a snarl.

"Looks like the general will have to step in for his men." The deranged cyborg snarled. His cybernetic senses picked up something. "What?" He ducked, causing a dagger that was flying towards him to embed itself in the wall behind him. "_More_ organic intruders?" Longshot, Tarot, and Wolfsbane, in her werewolf form, came down from the roof, and landed on Overkill's platform. "More of you freaks?! HEY!!" Overkill dodged a barrage of tracer bullets from Jester and Dial-Up.

"Whatever you have planned cyborg, it is over!" Dial-Up scowled.

"I quite agree." Tarot held up a card. "Laser Barrage Card!" The card glowed and a group of red laser bursts flew from the card, and knocked into Overkill. The cyborg lurched, caught surprised by the French girl's unusual attack. Rahne and Longshot quickly nodded at each other, then hit the cyborg with a double flying kick. Overkill fell off his platform. Underneath his red scarf, the cyborg smirked. Longshot and Wolfsbane prepared to jump off the platform and make him taste the sharp ends of their daggers and claws.

"I would think not, humans." Overkill smirked. They heard screams. The five mutants turned and saw Jester and Dial-Up scream. The two Joes were being electrocuted. They fell to the ground unconscious. When they hit the ground, the source of their electrocution was revealed. It was a Battle Android Trooper with sparking hands. "Ha!" Overkill leapt to his feet his arm and hand forming a cannon of some sort. He blasted Rahne and Longshot, encasing them in nets made of energy. Tarot made a motion to draw another card, but Overkill hit her with his net gun as well.

"Marie-Ange! Longshot! Rahne!" Ace yelled. "Hang on!" Ace leapt toward Overkill, claws charged. Overkill snarled and fired his net cannon, hitting the rocker feral and his clone partner. The cyborg looked at his android army.

"We lost many in this battle, but do not fear, they shall be avenged. And to all those wounded, I have downloaded special Purple Heart files into your systems. This changes nothing, except the fact that we have more prisoners and we have to up the timetable a bit. We still shall succeed in our mission, and Cobra shall rule the world!"

**A ballroom in Paris**

"Marie-Claire and Kyle are on opposite sides of the room." Ali told Theresa. "They won't even _look_ at each other."

"As long as they don't raise a ruckus, I don't mind." Theresa replied. "Those two brawling is the _last_ thing on me mind right now."

"What?" Ali blinked.

"It's the others. Rahne, Longshot, Ace, Tommy, John, and Terrell. Where the heck are those guys?"

"Well, maybe they're all out sightseeing." Ali blinked.

"Tommy's idea of sightseeing is driving every foreign restaurant he can find out of business. Terrell's idea of sightseeing is to flirt with every foreign girl he can find. John…well, I can't really tell for the life of me what John would do on a sightseeing trip."

"Well, I think he'd just sulk and if that proved boring, he'd punch out some people." Ali laughed. Meanwhile, Kicker and Torpedo were having a secret conversation.

"Jester and Dial-Up haven't reported?" Kicker asked Torpedo. The Hawaiian nodded.

"Not since their last call." Torpedo replied. "They told me that Wildstar had engaged a B.A.T. at the Eiffel Tower, and they were investigating. They haven't called in since."

"That's not like Dial-Up." The blonde ninja noted. "Not in the least. I can imagine Jester slacking off like that."

"Yeah, but he went down to an art museum with Dial-Up. He was the only one willing to go with her. You know that goofy Jester, always trying to win her over." Torpedo chuckled. "You got to admit, no matter how many times she's turned him down, beat him up, or insulted him, he never gives up." Ali and Theresa watched the conversation.

"I wonder what those two were talking about." Ali blinked. Meanwhile, Beast King had just told Toshi of a prank plan he had.

"It will not work, Jack." Toshi said with a shaking head.

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are in trouble! What insanity will happen next? Will Overkill's plan work? What is Beast King's plan? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	11. Attack of the BATs, Part 3!

**Christmas in ****France******

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red! Glad to have you back! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! You want more insanity, you'll get more insanity! Enjoy the new chapter, Red! I can hardly wait to read more fun stories from you, especially the one you told me about in your e-mail!_

_To Firefly25: Hey there Firefly! Yes, Jester and Dial-Up just may have met a new variation on the __Battle__ Android Trooper. Perhaps Cobra's finally seen the value of creating various types of B.A.T. Well, I can imagine that Overkill would put up a much better fight than any other human or mutant operative of Cobra. He is a cyborg, which his half-human, half-machine. He has a human's instincts, combined with a machine's ability to be greater than a human in many ways and the ability to be much more precise than any human. That combination can be extremely dangerous. Luckily for us all, Overkill is a little bit daffy in the head, huh? The goofball actually thinks that he **is** a robot! And yes, having Kyle and Marie-Claire not speaking to each other is a good thing. Especially the damage they tend to do if they **do** speak to each other. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Well, it's always nice to meet a fellow servant of Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth. I'm half-English myself, on my mother's side. A robber had swiped your dad's motorcycle and dumped it in the canal, and your dad didn't notice because of Exam Week? Wow. Your dad must've been studying really really hard to not notice that his **motorcycle** was gone! Oh well, I've done stuff like that myself, so I'm not insinuating anything. Studying does tend to make you forget about other things, like the fact there's life going on around you. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Let's see…yeah, I do remember the Overkill stuttered a little. Yeah, that would by funny to see him literally blow a gasket. I'll see what I can do with that. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Now, are you more interested in stamina or speed?" - Christopher Walken as Max Zorin, A View to a Kill (My favorite Bond flick)**

Chapter 11: Attack of the B.A.Ts, Part 3!

**A ballroom in Paris**

"Man, this is boring." Kyle Wildfire, the Boston-born electric-powered West Coast Misfit codenamed Thunderbolt, sat at a table. Dazzler, Siryn, Rictor, Sunfire, Beast King, and Marie-Claire were sitting with him. Beast King was trying to strike up a conversation with the spoiled French girl.

"There was this _huge_ wave, dudette! I mean, it was like, a **total tsunami!** Everybody was screaming, and like saying, 'Nobody could tame that wave', and I was totally like, 'Yeah, I could, dudes', and then…" Jack was trying to tell Marie-Claire a story of how he managed to ride one of Malibu's toughest waves. However, Marie-Claire did not look impressed.

"I am not interested in hearing your moronic story about how you rode a wave!" Marie-Claire snapped at Jack. "I do not care because you have had absolutely nothing intelligent to say to me at all in the few minutes we have met! I highly doubt you are capable of mental processes higher than the level of a caterpillar, you peasant! Why don't you make yourself useful and morph yourself into either something edible, or something that will go away!" Jack groaned.

"Dudette, you are a real piece of work, you know that?" Jack grimaced. "My cousin Wipe-Out? He's totally a Navy SEAL. They have this part of training called 'Hell Week'."

"Sign her up." Kyle snickered. Marie-Claire glared at the electro-kinetic.

"I guess that's warming up for those two." Rictor whispered to Toshi. The Japanese mutant nodded.

"Perhaps, Rictor. Perhaps."

"You know d'Agastino, that attitude just isn't right. We just want to be friends with you." Ali said. Marie-Claire chuckled.

"I find zat laughable coming from someone who has no clue about current hairstyles." The French girl laughed. Ali crossed her arms.

"I always was a fan of Farrah Fawcett." Ali said. Kyle was struggling to hold in his infamous temper, but every second was proving a greater challenge for the youngest West Coast Misfit.

"Shhh! It's starting!" Theresa shushed. The lights dimmed, and Gerard d'Agastino stood on the lit stage. The executives attending the ball clapped from their tables.

"Bonjour, my beloved employees and investors. I am very touched and very honored that you have come to zis party to raise some money for charity, as is our tradition every Christmas." As Gerard spoke, Theresa looked over at the Joes' table and gave a thumbs-up. The Joes at the table, Kicker, Wipe-Out, Firestorm, and Torpedo, waved and gave a thumbs-up back. So far, not much of a hitch. "As such, I would like to reveal d'Agastino's newest innovation…" He walked over to the tarp next to him. "Behold…" He pulled off the tarp. "Ze Broadcast Energy Transmitter, Mark II!" The people clapped.

"Too bad your old man couldn't raise a daughter as good as that thing." Kyle teased. Marie-Claire struggled to hold in the urge to punch Kyle right in the nose. Suddenly…

**_KABOOM!!!!!_** The back wall exploded.

"_WHAT?!_" Gerard exclaimed in shock. The frightened people turned around and saw a figure clad in a trenchcoat and scarf walk in.

"S-s-stop this demons-s-tration!" The figure called as it marched into the light. The figure threw off the trenchcoat and scarf. It revealed the figure appeared to be clad in blue armor with silver highlights, and the Cobra insignia in red on its chest. The upper arms and elbows were white, and the lower arms and hands were red. The figure's head was covered in a blue helmet like Cobra Commander's, only without the metal faceplate and a red mouthplate. His eyes were the only part of his body that showed. This was Overkill, Cobra's cyborg operative **(A/N: Nice overhaul I gave him, huh? Looks a lot different than in Valor vs. Venom).**

"Who are you?!" Gerard exclaimed. Overkill laughed.

"Your new m-m-master, filthy organic." Overkill chortled cockily.

Well, well, well! Looks like the insanity will continue! What madness will happen next? Will our heroes be able to save the day? Will Overkill get the B.E.T.? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	12. Attack of the BATs, Part 4!

**Christmas in ****France**

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! Yes, this is going to be one very interesting scenario. What is going to happen next, you ask? Well, you'll just have to read the new chapter and find out! Enjoy the new chapter, and I hope you review more!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red! I'm glad you want more insanity! Here's more coming right up! Enjoy the new chapter! Can hardly wait to read more from you!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky! That's an interesting suggestion, although Marie-Claire doesn't strike me as much of a wrestling fan. She may know the Rock from the movies he did (Scorpion King, the Rundown, Walking Tall), but she may not know the Rock is a wrestler. I'll put it on the back burner. I hope you weren't hurt by that, and enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! It's nice to meet other English people on these boards, too. One of my favorite authors is Welsh and the author of a story on my Favorites list is English as well. She regularly reviews 'The Starr Chronicles'. Enjoy the new chapter, Rae!_

**Disclaimer: "Corn Cob Man? There's a lot of sick people in this town." - The Red Guy, Cow and Chicken (I used to love that show! Whatever happened to it, man? This is insane! I have no idea why I remembered that dumb quote. Man, my mind is dangerous when bored.)**

Chapter 12: Attack of the B.A.T.s, Part 4!

**The d'Agastino Christmas Party, Paris**

"S-s-s-s-surrender your B.E.T. at once, filthy organics! I-i-it's now the p-p-property of Cobra!" Overkill snarled. The people who were attending fled, leaving Gerard, Marie-Claire, the West Coast Misfit members codenamed Dazzler, Siryn, Rictor, and Thunderbolt, and the Malibu Joes codenamed Kicker, Firestorm, Wipe-Out, and Torpedo.

"Who are ye?" Theresa snarled.

"And what's with the stutter, jabroni? You got issues, pal?!" Kyle growled.

"I am O-o-overkill, Cobra's new cy-cy-cyborg agent." Overkill growled. "I-I-I am the general of C-c-cobra's robotic corps."

"Robotic corps…you mean Battle Android Troopers, right?" Jester growled.

"Battle Android Troopers?" Marie-Claire blinked up at her father.

"Battle Android Troopers, also known as B.A.T.s." Ali explained. "They are robot soldiers. All you need to do is program them with a target, and drop them right into battle."

"They're low-maintenance, cheap to make, and they don't complain. They just go in and blow up everything around them until they either run out of juice or get blown to pieces themselves." Rictor added.

"Th-th-that is not true!" Overkill roared. "B.A.Ts are the e-e-elite robotic t-t-troopers of C-c-cobra!"

"You're totally not getting the B.E.T, dude! You getting the B.E.T. would be bogus, man! Totally bogus!" Wipe-Out scowled. Torpedo shot the Malibu-born SEAL a deadpan look.

"Wipe-Out, never try to threaten anyone. It's not you, man." Torpedo sighed, shaking his head shamefully. "It's just not you."

"Y-y-you have three s-s-seconds to han-han-hand over the B-B-B.E.T., otherwise I sha-sha-shall unleash my f-f-forces all over th-th-this building!" Overkill snarled.

"Oh shu-shu-shut up!" Kyle mocked, firing a thunder blast at Overkill. The cyborg was knocked back into the wall. "Man, that jabroni was stupid. The Thunderbolt thought cyborg implants were supposed to improve people, not make them idiots."

"Uh Kyle, something tells me that ye shouldn't have mocked the evil robot-man like that." Theresa gulped. An angry Overkill got to his feet.

"E-e-eat this, organic!" Overkill's arm morphed into a cannon, and a missile fired from it. It headed straight for Gerard.

"Saints!" Theresa screamed.

"I got this!" Kyle fired a lightning bolt at Gerard. Just before it touched the man, it formed a yellow translucent wall in front of him. The missile hit and exploded.

"Father!" Marie-Claire exclaimed. The smoke cleared and the wall still stood. All Gerard got was knocked on his butt.

"Oh Saints, he's alright." Theresa wiped her brow.

"Bad move, you tin can!" Wipe-Out threw a grenade at Overkill. The explosion knocked him back, but it didn't do a lot of damage.

"Not bad for an American, huh?" Kyle shot Marie-Claire a smirk.

"Whatever." Marie-Claire huffed. Several explosions were heard as modified Battle Android Troopers blew threw the walls of the room to get in. The androids fired tracer bullets from their built-in shoulder-mounted gattling guns.

"Everybody get down!" Torpedo ordered. The Joes and West Coast Misfits immediately ducked under some tables. Kyle turned the electric wall into a bubble that went around Gerard and brought him under with them.

"Can't these stupid robots use doors?" Firestorm growled. Blast Radius, Firestorm's monkey, watched all this from the chandelier hanging up the ceiling. He screeched and waved. Firestorm grinned. "You know what to do, buddy!" BR nodded and started throwing lit dynamite at the soldiers.

"How long has he been up there?" Kicker blinked.

"What is that filthy animal doing up there?" Marie-Claire scowled. "He's going to blow ze whole place up!"

"It's called a plan, stupid." Kyle grumbled. Gerard panted and held his heart.

"Man, what a day." The executive panted.

"I am not afraid of zese stupid robots!" Marie-Claire growled. She peeked up from under the tablecloth.

"Marie-Claire, no!" Theresa exclaimed. Marie-Claire's eyes glowed as she concentrated on a couple B.A.T.s. The androids she concentrated on started floating in the air, and she sent them flying into another group of B.A.T.s. "Oh Saints…" Theresa sighed. The Irish girl took a deep breath, and let out a sonic wail, sending a few more B.A.T.s flying, as well as tearing them apart.

"We can't maintain a defensive position forever! Mr. d'Agastino, you and your daughter stay under the tables! We'll clear the trash!" Kicker yelled. "Okay, kids! Gang, let's do this! YO JOE!"

"YO JOE!!" The Joes hollered as they and the West Coast Misfits charged into battle.

"Ha!" Rictor nailed an android in the head with a sonic wave-charged punch, causing it to shatter. He nailed another android with another punch in the head. "Goodbye!"

"Eat grenades, you Cylon wannabes!" Firestorm pitched several grenades at the androids, causing several to explode.

"They're not stopping!" Torpedo exclaimed to Wipe-Out. Both Joes were blasting the androids with volt rifles. The electrical blasts caused the androids to shut down. Meanwhile, Kicker was using a bushido sword and her martial-arts skills to deal with the soldiers.

"Dude, where to they all come from?!" Wipe-Out growled.

"I know!" Ali blasted an android with a yellow laser blast. "You take down one, six more appear!" She screamed as she blasted a couple more androids with her lasers.

"Man, these jabronis are like weeds!" Kyle growled as he smashed some of the android troopers with electrical hammers. "Anybody got any B.A.T. spray?" Theresa flew around, raining sonic cries on the androids.

"Th-th-that's that beauty of ha-ha-having androids as s-s-soldiers." Overkill chuckled as he watched the battle. Theresa flew down towards the B.E.T.

"Marie-Claire!" Theresa exclaimed. The French girl crept towards the device. "We need to get this thing out of here! You'll be great for this. All I need ye to do is decrease the gravity around the device, so I can easily move it."

"Non." Marie-Claire crossed her arms.

"Marie-Claire, this is serious!"

"I am not one of your little 'Misfits'!" Marie-Claire snapped. "You will not order me around like some commoner! I am a blue-blood! Ze blood of ze French Royal Family flows through my veins!"

"Ye can brag about yer royal bloodline later! This is not the time!" Theresa exclaimed.

"You will show me ze proper respect." Marie-Claire huffed.

"For ze love of God, Marie-Claire, do what she says!" Gerard exclaimed in a frightened tone from under the table.

Well, well, well! Looks like we may have another problem! What insanity will happen next? Will Marie-Claire dump the princess act? Will the Malibu Joes and the West Coast Misfits save the day? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	13. Confrontation!

**Christmas in ****France**

_To Haretrigger: Hey there, Haretrigger. Actually, I did not intend Marie-Claire to ever join the West Coast Misfit team. She's not going to be a member. I do want to find a way to change her attitude, but I don't think it will be done in this fic anyway. How are our heroes going to get out of this situation? Let's find out, shall we? Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there matt! It's nice to hear from you again! It has been quite a while since I last heard from you, man. I'm glad you liked Firestorm's Cylon crack. The __Battle__ Android Troopers are kind of like the Cylons from Battlestar Galactica when you think about it. I'm glad you liked my portrayal of Marie-Claire. How did her mother die? Well, I don't think I will elaborate on that. I used that because you never mentioned her in your fic and I needed a catalyst for Marie-Claire's angry behavior since in this universe, Marie-Claire's father accepted his daughter's mutation, and called in the West Coast Misfits in hopes of showing his daughter she is not alone, and that there are other kids out there who are going through the same things she is. I don't want to put Kyle and Marie-Claire together. She's 17, and he's only 13. Besides, they don't exactly like each other too much. I'll see if I can torture Kelly some more. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "X-Man is Australian for Mutant"! Please put it up quick!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! Yeah, somebody needs to explain the concept of teamwork to Marie-Claire. She thinks that Theresa is trying to order her around like she was on the team. In actuality, Theresa is just using what resources she has available to get a job done. She knows Marie-Claire is not a member of the team, but she needs Marie-Claire's help to get the B.E.T. out of danger, because she can make it so light, Siryn can easily push it away. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red! I read your new one-shot 'Snow Fun' and I liked it! Poor Lance, still can't get a break. I was thinking of doing a fic where Lance spends some time in __Europe__ when he decides to take a sabbatical from the Misfits. Yes, things did just get a little bit worse for our heroes! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Yes, I am having difficulty controlling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE!!!!!" - Mike Myers as Austin Powers, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery**

Chapter 13: Confrontation!

**Paris, ****France**

"Well, at least the French have nice hospitals." Senator Kelly grumbled. He walked out of the hospital, a bandage around his head. "I know it was a mutie who clonked me in the head with an anvil. I _know_ that a mutie clonked me in the head with an anvil! Only a mutant could cause an anvil to fly through the air and clonk me in the head!" The American senator kept rambling and grumbling to himself. He didn't notice that he kept knocking into people angrily.

"Hey!"

"Watch it!"

"American jerk!"

"Stupid Americans! They think they own the freakin' place!" Kelly overheard and scowled.

"Freakin' French. They think they're better than everybody else." The bigoted senator grumbled. He walked out to the Eiffel Tower, grumbling the whole way there and to the top of it. He looked down. "Wow. Who would've thought it was so high." He noticed two people scuffle. "Hey!" He ran to break it up. "Watch it! Someone could fall over!" He got accidentally hit by a backhand to the nose, and he fell over the edge. Kelly fell down the tower, screaming the whole way.

**An underground parking garage**

Theresa Rourke, the Ireland-born leader of the West Coast Misfits, and Marie-Claire d'Agastino, a teenage French heiress, pushed the Broadcast Energy Transmitter Mark II across the garage. The machine was hovering off the ground. Marie-Claire had used her mutant power to alter the pull of gravity of an object to make the normally-heavy machine light as a feather.

"Is there anywhere we can hide this thing?" Theresa asked.

"How should I know?!" Marie-Claire snapped. "You already forced me to push this heavy machine around like a commoner, and now you tell me you don't have any idea where we should place it?!"

"I don't see how this device can be such a burden to ye considering ye can practically take all the weight away from this thing!" Theresa exclaimed in amazement. "Ye know, I give no blame for his attitude towards ye."

"You actually _agree_ with that…that…foul-mouthed, no-good American?!" Marie-Claire exclaimed. "He is no better than anyone else from his country! They walk around, acting like they own the rest of the world!"

"I _live_ in America." Theresa said. "Even though me heart belongs to Ireland, I have grown to enjoy living in the US. People there are very nice, and they really have no culture of their own. It's a mix-and-match of a whole bunch of cultures. It's really interesting. On one street, I saw restaurants that served Greek food, Chinese food, Indian food, and even one that served French food. It wasn't half-bad." Theresa grinned. Marie-Claire snorted.

"I highly doubt zat ze average American even knows _where_ zat food comes from." Marie-Claire tossed her dark hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms. Theresa groaned.

"Ye are _so_ lucky Thunderbolt didn't hear that remark, Miss d'Agastino." The Irish girl groaned. "He's very proud of where he's from. The two girls heard an explosion from upstairs. "Come on. The gang is keeping Overkill and his oversized Tinker Toys upstairs occupied, but it may not hold much longer."

"Let me tell you something, Rourke. I am _not_ someone who is ordered around!" Marie-Claire snapped. "Ever since I met you and your little team, I have been the object of abuse, particularly by zat redneck Lightning Bolt or whatever that egomaniac likes to call himself.

"I'm _not_ in the mood to start a fight now, Marie-Claire." Theresa warned. "We have to do a job here."

"_You_ have a job." Marie-Claire smirked.

"I don't understand where ye get off acting like some selfish brat." Theresa said. "If me Da caught me acting like that, he'd give me a sonic scream right in the ears!"

"I am _not_ some commoner you can order around! I am a blue-blood, if you have forgotten."

"I'm well-aware of that." Theresa grumbled. "Let me tell ye something. I may not have had the money or the bloodline you have, nor even much of a normal childhood, but let me tell ye, I had me a family, and I was plenty rich with me Da. We have more in common that ye think, ye know."

"Like what?" Marie-Claire huffed.

"Like the fact we both lost a mum." Theresa sighed. A nerve seemed to be hit in the aloof French girl.

"I have no mother." Marie-Claire snarled.

"Your father said that ye started acting the way ye did after she died." Theresa said. "Do you…remember her?" Marie-Claire's face twisted in anger. She glared at Siryn.

"Do…not…_speak_…of…her!" Marie-Claire snarled angrily. Her eyes flashed white, but Theresa caught it, and cut her off with a light sonic scream, knocking her on her butt.

"Do you remember your mother? Because I don't!" Theresa said. "Me mother died when I was a baby. Her home was bombed. Where I come from, that's not uncommon. Where I come from, people tried to wipe each other off the face of the earth simply because they believed in a slightly different religion."

"I _do_ remember my mother." Marie-Claire growled. "And she was a _chien_ **(A/N: 'chien' is the French word for 'dog')**" Her eyes flashed white, and a car nearby her raised into the air. "She turned her back on me and Father!" The car sped towards the Irish blonde. Theresa knocked it away with a sonic blast.

"Something tells me ye did not have a very good relationship with her." Theresa grumbled. _But then again, I think I may have hit a nerve._

Well, well, well! Looks like There's more than one fight brewing! What insanity will happen next? Will or heroes be able to save the day? What of this little spat? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	14. Escape Attempt!

**Christmas in ****France**

_To mattb3671: Hey there matt! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I had to use a bit of imagination to create Marie-Claire's background, considering my version of her is significantly different from your version of hers. I'm also glad you liked the Kelly torture. I have been trying to find a way to put in more Kelly torture for the story. Here's a new chapter for you! Enjoy!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there RogueFan! Yeah, I think that's what Theresa's trying to do. She's trying to show Marie-Claire that she's not as great as she thinks she is. Theresa, like Marie-Claire, grew up in a single-parent family, and so she knows what it's like to not have a parent in her life. Marie-Claire used this arrogance she has to hide the fact that she never really got over her mother's death. Marie-Claire's view of her mom's death isn't exactly accurate. Marie-Claire likes to say that her mother used death as an excuse to abandon her because it's easier for her to take. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I read your new one-shot "No Class", and I loved it! Poor old Storm. She gets no respect. Shipwreck only tries to help, but he never gets it quite right. Yeah, here comes another catfight. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Well, Americans have a very different point of view about the world. We started out as a bunch of English colonies, and we eventually grew tired of it when __England__ started giving us unfair treatment. The colonies rebelled and __America__ was born. Ever since then, Americans developed a fiercely independent attitude. Compared to many countries, like __France__England__, and __Italy__America__ is very young. Americans don't like the thought of being ruled over, or being told what to do, and that has caused residents of other countries to think of Americans as arrogant and way too proud for their own good. American culture is derived technically from English culture, so we really have none of our own, and as people of various other countries came over to live in the US, elements of their own cultures blended together. For example, it's not uncommon to see Irish bars in __Boston__, and my hometown has a couple Chinese restaurants and an Italian pizzeria. So yeah, we got a little bit of everything. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Kelly being thrown off on purpose? Well, I would not be surprised. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Omarosa should've been spanked as a kid." - Me**

Chapter 14: Escape Attempt!

**A warehouse in Paris**

"Unh…oh…" Marie-Ange Colbert moaned as she opened her green eyes. "Where…am…I?" She found herself in a cell of some kind. A futuristic cell, kid of like from Star Trek, with a forcefield for a door. "What is this? Where am I?! And where is Ace?! If you have hurt him, I will…"

"Relax, Card-Girl." Ace waved from another cell. "I tried to bust out of here, but no luck. My claw lasers are useless."

"Why?" Tarot blinked.

"Check out your neck, babe. You got a collar around it that I didn't give you." Ace replied. Tarot felt around her neck. She felt a metal collar around her neck.

"What is this?"

"It's called a power inhibitor." Jester replied. "I've heard about these things. They're supposed to turn off a mutant's abilities. Like your ability to animate pictures, Tarot." The redhead blinked.

"How do you know the extent of my powers, flatscan?" Tarot looked suspiciously at the Joe. Jester chuckled.

"Elementary, my dear Tarot. You use tarot cards, right?" Jester smirked. "As well as a set of battle cards. Well, if you could animate the pictures on those cards, then chances are you can animate any picture on any surface."

"Once, when Tarot was depressed, she brought to life one of those Yu-Gi-Oh things and cuddled it." Ace chuckled.

"ACE!!!" Tarot whined with a blush.

"Where are we?" Dial-Up asked as she, Longshot, Wolfsbane, and X23 returned from being knocked out.

"Welcome to the brig, Dial-Up. Not the romantic vacation spot, but it's got a great view of the underground." Jester joked.

"Ugh. They can invent a collar to shut off mutant powers, but they cannot invent anything to stop bad comedians from trying to be humorous." Dial-Up grumbled.

"Where are we?!" Rahne exclaimed.

"Looks like some kind of cell." Longshot looked around.

"Way to go, Sherlock Longshot." X23 rolled her eyes. "And what do your amazing detective skills say about how we get out of here. I know, let's get a key and put it in the keyhole." Longshot pouted.

"Just trying to help." The extradimensional pouted. "Man, these look like the cells on 'Star Trek'."

"You _like_ that show?" Tarot giggled. "A kid I know back in Massachusetts loves all that sci-fi stuff." Ace knew who she was talking about.

"I cannae transform!" Rahne exclaimed.

"Power inhibitor." X23 felt the collar around her neck. "Overkill and his cyber-boys must've put them in to prevent us from using our special powers."

"Luckily, we Joes always have some extra tools." Dial-Up's eyes took on a knowing gleam. The Japanese woman put her hand in her hair and pulled out a metal hair pin. "Metal conducts electricity. If I can find a way to access the wires that provide power to the forcefields, I can place this hair pin in between them and short them out."

"The panels should run under the ground." Jester said as he examined the floor of his cell.

"Too bad I can't really do anything." Longshot sighed, slumping to the floor. "Those B.A.Ts took my daggers."

"And my cards." Tarot sighed. "My powers are useless without something to animate."

"Ahh. Found it." Dial-Up lifted a panel.

"Wait a minute…Dial-Up, stop!" Jester said. "Doesn't anyone here notice something fishy?"

"Yeah. No guards." Ace blinked.

"Which means they may have something nasty waiting for us if we try to escape." X23 growled. "Just our luck."

"You West Coast Misfits go through stuff like this a lot?" Tarot blinked.

"All the time, Card-Girl." Ace laughed. "All the time."

Well, well, well! Looks like the insanity will continue! Can our heroes escape? What's going on back in the Parisian ballroom? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	15. Escape!

**Christmas in ****France******

_To Metal Dragon1: Hey there Metal Dragon! Yeah, it does not look good. Most of the team is incapacitated, Siryn and Marie-Claire are…chatting. Who is the kid that Ace and Tarot are talking about? Red Witch gave him a brief appearance in her fics. Here's a hint: He's related to Donald. The whole Yu-Gi-Oh thing is a little bit of both, to be honest with you. I've been through blizzards myself when I lived in __Massachusetts__, so I truly understand. I hope you can keep on reviewing! I'll keep up the good work, and thank you for the fight scene pointers. Enjoy the new chapter! And I can hardly wait to read the new chapter of 'Take The Long Way Home'!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Yeah, escape attempts are always good for a laugh. I did like the one-shot, and I can hardly wait for you to put out more stories! I can hardly wait for your next 10 or 100-chapter story! How do you do those, anyway? It's amazing. You are to fanfiction what Geoff Johns is to comic book writing! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Man, it has been too long since I heard from you, man! Way too long. Kelly getting knocked on the head and thinking he's Napoleon? Hmm…I do like that idea. I'll see if I can do anything about that. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Raliena! Yeah, they are. The Joes are __America__'s finest soldiers, despite their oddities and quirks, so you'd have to expect them to be able to handle anything, and in the Joes' case, that means…anything. And yes, de-arming a Joe is no good. A Joe **is** a weapon. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Firefly25: Hey there Firefly! It's been too long since I saw a review from you! Actually, I think Marie-Claire is stuck in the anger stage of mourning. As for the cell stuff, yeah, I can imagine Overkill deciding to use electrified floors and all that. Keep in mind, even though he's an advanced and very tough cyborg, he still is a Cobra, so expect him to make some dumb mistakes… Yeah, I guess Tarot tends to underestimate that most of the Joes are indeed humans, they are certainly capable of defeating non-human foes. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Allow myself to introduce…myself." Mike Myers as Austin Powers, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery**

Chapter 15: Escape!

**The d'Agastino Christmas Party, Paris**

Overkill cackled as he looked down at the scene. The ground was littered with shattered tables, broken chairs, and there were dents and holes in the wall, and pieces of broken Battle Android Troopers. The floor was also littered with the unconscious bodies of the Joes codenamed Firestorm, Wipe-Out, and Torpedo, as well as the West Coast Misfits codenamed Dazzler, Rictor, Thunderbolt, Sunfire, and Beast King.

"M-m-man, that was t-t-too easy, heh heh." Overkill chuckled. He turned over Thunderbolt with his foot. "Th-th-that organic was the m-m-most hard-headed of all. I-i-it was hardest t-t-to take him d-d-down." Overkill didn't notice that a figure clad in white from head to toe hanging on a ceiling corner like a spider. The figure silently flipped down, then threw a few explosive shuriken at Overkill's back. The cyborg screamed and turned around. The figure removed her hood, revealing a beautiful blonde woman.

"You didn't think that we organics can be taken down _that_ easily, did you?" Kicker growled, unsheathing her sword. Overkill laughed.

"H-h-human, you just m-m-made a big m-m-mistake." Overkill growled as he morphed his arm into a futuristic huge energy cannon and pointed it at Kicker. She just stood defiantly.

"_WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_" A sonic scream came out of nowhere. The scream flew past Kicker and slammed into Overkill, knocking the cyborg into a wall. Kicker turned around and saw Siryn and Marie-Claire.

"Sorry we were late Kicker, Marie-Claire and I got caught up in a session of girl talk." Theresa chuckled. Marie-Claire's makeup showed a couple lines running down her face, like she had been crying. Kicker smiled.

"About time, girls." Kicker said. "Let's show this cyborg the meaning of girl power!"

**A warehouse in Paris**

"Maybe we should take it one step at a time." Dial-Up suggested. "First, we worry about deactivating the forcefields that are holding us in. Then, we worry about any booby traps there are waiting for us." She walked to an open panel in the floor of her cell, where a group of exposed wires were lying.

"Yeah." Jester shrugged casually with a smile. "After all, he _is_ a Cobra agent. How well done can these traps be?"

"You Joes are a strange bunch." Tarot shook her head.

"You _have_ to go to a Joe party sometime, Tarot. Trust me, insanity happens. Drunkeness, explosions, singing, dancing, fighting, parrots, fire trucks, Shipwreck, Tripwire in a pink bunny suit, Order and Junkyard mauling Beach-Head…all sorts of stuff." Ace snickered. "Crazy stuff! Trust me, you'll love it!"

"Okay, here we go." Dial-Up said. "I suggest you all stand back from your doors." The kids and Jester did so. Dial-Up straightened out her hairpin, then carefully hovered it over the wires. Once they were in position, Dial-Up dropped the hairpin and sparks flew from the pin as it shorted out the circuits. The lights flickered, and then they stayed on. "Did it work?"

"I'll check. If anything happens, my healing factor will fix it up." X23 offered.

"Be careful, Athena." Jester said.

"I wouldn't worry." X23 smirked. "They're only Cobras. They're idiots. They _can't_ be _this_ prepared." The cloned mutant carefully stepped out. Her smirk returned. "See? No big deal." Suddenly, sirens blared.

"You and you big mouth, Athena." Longshot said in an even voice, a deadpan look on his face. Athena unsheathed her claws as the others ran out. The clone smirked.

"Let them come. I was growing bored anyway. I really needed to shred something."

"And I think you just found something you can really sink your claws into, X23." Jester pointed ahead.

Well, well, well! Looks like the insanity will continue! What madness will happen next? Can Overkill be stopped? What is Jester pointing at? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	16. ButtKicking All Around!

**Christmas in ****France**

_To mattb3671: Hey there matt! How're you doing, man? Will there be some changes in Marie-Claire after her little confrontation with Siryn? You'll see, man. You'll see. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for you to update your story "X-Men is Australian for Mutant"._

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Oh okay, I see what you are getting at now. I get it. Well, the Joes are the best the __US__ military can put out, so naturally, they wouldn't necessarily **need** a weapon to do the job. Keep on reading, Rae! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red! Yeah, nothing ever does seem to go right for our heroes. I have a lot of free time at night myself, so I write. I find inspiration sometimes when I go out and take a walk or look at my comic collection. Enjoy the new chapter, Red!_

**Disclaimer: "The sea monkeys have my money…" - Ellen DeGeneres as Dory, Finding Nemo**

Chapter 16: Butt-Kicking All Around!

**A warehouse in Paris**

"Oh great, another bloody robot." Rahne grumbled as she shifted into her werewolf form. A robot that appeared to be over eight feet tall lumbered towards them. The body and head of the robot was apparently made to look like the Cobra insignia. The robot had silver arms and legs, a black lower torso and feet, and red hands.

"Robots tick me off." Athena snarled, unsheating her claws.

"_Everything_ ticks you off, X." Longshot rolled his eyes.

"HEY YOU TICK ME OFF!!" Athena snapped.

"H-h-hello, West Coast Misfits." The robot appeared to say. "Th-th-this little robot is going to spell your doom."

"It talks." Jester blinked. "But can it make waffles? HEY!!" Dial-Up swatted the comedic pilot upside the head with a grumble.

"You are a simpleton, you know that?" Dial-Up grumbled. "It's pre-recorded."

"A little surprise that our ever-gracious host Overkill left in case we felt like leaving the party early, no doubt." Ace Starr snarled, baring his fangs.

"If only I had my cards, mon amour…" Tarot whispered to Ace. "I am very good with martial arts and a sword, but that is not enough against this thing. I need my cards." Jester overheard this.

**The d'Agastino Christmas Party, Paris**

_What happened between Siryn and Marie-Claire, I wonder?_ Kicker thought as she dodged a laser blast with a backflip over a table. She lifted up the tablecloth and saw Gerard d'Agastino under the table. "You okay, Monsieur d'Agastino?"

"I'm okay. I need a new pair of pants, but I'm okay." Gerard gulped. He noticed the makeup marks on his daughter's cheek as she used her gravity powers to try and stop Overkill. "What happened to Marie-Claire. She looks like she was crying. I haven't heard her cry in a long time." Kicker blinked.

"Siryn said that while she and Marie-Claire took the BET to safety, they had a little talk." Kicker replied. "Can't talk more now, got an evil robot to stop. Just stay down and keep quiet." Kicker dropped the tablecloth back down. "Whatever Theresa said to that girl, it must have humbled her real good."

"Eat sonic blast, ye hunk of tin! _WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!_" Siryn smashed Overkill with a sonic blast to the chest, causing him to stagger and fall backwards. Meanwhile, Firestorm and BR were coming to. The groggy pyromaniac explosive expert Joe pulled what appeared to be a Molotov cocktail and a lighter out of his jacket. He shook his head as he got to his feet.

"Do it, BR." He ordered the monkey, handing him the lighter. BR lit the cloth of the cocktail ablaze. "Hey Robot Man!" Overkill turned around. "In the mood for a drink?" He asked as the others got to their feet. "Here! Try my Molotov cocktail! It's a hit!" Firestorm pitched the cocktail. It hit Overkill's head and shattered, covering him in flames.

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Overkill screamed, running around in a panic, flailing his arms around like a headless chicken.

"What the--?" Rictor blinked as he and the others watched.

"What happened to you?" Kyle rubbed his head as he looked at Marie-Claire.

**The warehouse in Paris**

"That was easy." Ace grinned as he wiped his hands. The Cobra logo robot was in pieces. Jester, Dial-Up, Wolfsbane, X23, Longshot, Tarot, and Wildstar stood around the robot.

"Thank you for letting me use the card." Tarot handed the card back to Jester. "I had no idea you were into Battle Monsters."

"We all have our hobbies, Red." Jester chuckled. "I beat Torpedo ten times in a row once." X23 looked around, sniffing the air.

"Velocity…Thunderbird…Chilljaw…" X23 growled, sniffing the air. "They were here. I can smell them."

"They must've been captured earlier." Ace reasoned. "I picked up their scent too."

"No wonder they never reported in!" Jester realized. "I thought they were out partying!"

"It would seem like those three." Dial-Up nodded. "Let's go find them before Overkill returns."

"**_GET ME THE $#$# DOWN FROM HERE!!!_**" A familiar voice roared. "**_WHERE IS THAT $#$#$# ROBOT OR CYBORG OR WHATEVER THE #$#$ HE IS?!?! I'LL $#$#$# RIP HIM THE $#$# APART!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!"_** The group all looked at each other with deadpan expressions on their faces.

"Thunderbird." They all said in unison.

"We won't have much trouble finding him now. All we have to do is follow the screaming." Longshot quipped as the group ran off.

**The Christmas party**

"Ahhh!!!" A fiery Overkill screamed as he got pelted by laser blasts from guns held by Firestorm, Torpedo, and Wipe-Out.

"A couple explosive shuriken should put a real bang in your day!" Kicker quipped as she threw a couple shuriken armed with small explosive devices. The small metal projectiles hit Overkill's knee joints and exploded, weakening the robot, making Overkill scream.

"Whoa man, the Joes kick butt." Rictor blinked.

"One does not need superhuman powers or abilities to defeat an opponent." Toshiro nodded simply. "I would demonstrate that…but I left my favorite katana back home." Toshi mumbled the last bit. He glared at a snickering Ali and Rictor. "I don't laugh at any of you when you make a mistake."

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are beating back the bad guys! What insanity will happen next?! What was up with Marie-Claire? Will our heroes be able to rescue Velocity, Chilljaw, and Thunderbird? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	17. Christmas Madness Ends!

**Christmas in ****France******

_To mattb3671: Hey there matt! What is going on with Marie-Claire? Why don't we all find out? The suspense shall be ended here. You are very welcome. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read the new chapter of "X-Men is Australian for Mutant". Please put it up quick!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! Yeah, following the screaming is always a good idea if you're a superhero. It tells you where the action is. Enjoy the new chapter, Rae!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! I read your new one-shots and your new fic "Welcome to the Dark Side" and I loved it. Yeah, I do so enjoy creating mayhem, destruction and insanity in the Misfit-verse. It's a lot of fun. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!_

**Disclaimer: "We gotta protect our phony-baloney jobs!" - Mel Brooks as Governor William J. Lepitomaine, Blazing Saddles (One of my favorite movies. Mel Brooks was hilarious in it)**

Chapter 17: Christmas Madness Ends!

**The d'Agastino Christmas Party, Paris**

"Well, _zis_ turned out be a fine party." Gerard sighed as he looked around the ballroom. It was a wreck. Tables, silverware, and plates were all in shambles, mixed in with pieces of Overkill, which were being collected by the Joes. Ali noticed Marie-Claire sitting at a corner, her back to the wall. The Farrah-haired mutant blinked and slowly approached the French girl.

"Uhm…Marie-Claire…" Ali said.

"I…am tired." Marie-Claire sighed. "I…do not wish to talk to them right now." Ali blinked in confusion. Not too long ago, Marie-Claire was acting like the stereotypical spoiled brat, but now she looked traumatized. Ali noticed Theresa examine a piece of Overkill's metal shell.

"Theresa, what happened to the brat over there?" Ali asked Theresa, pointing at the dark-haired French girl with her thumb. Theresa looked at Marie-Claire and sighed.

"We got into a bit of a scrap when were bringing the B.E.T. to safety in the basement, and some feelings got left out." Theresa sighed. "Poor girl lost her mother at an early age. To ease her pain, she developed the belief that her mother turned her back on her and her father and abandoned them." The two girls watched Gerard check on his daughter and sit with her. "She's lucky, ye know. She's glad she's got a father like him. Plus, she got to know her mother. I never had the chance."

"I'm sure she's proud of you, Theresa." Ali smiled, putting a hand on Theresa's shoulder. "You lead a bunch of lunatics."

"Lucky me." Theresa rolled her eyes. "What a Christmas. Fighting robots."

"It could be worse." Kyle shrugged. "You could be spending Christmas with my family." Kyle started laughing. "The Thunderbolt says, whenever you get a whole bunch of Wildfires in one room, a brawl always breaks out. Last year, the family laid a royal smackdown on a whole bunch of mailmen."

**Elsewhere in ****Paris**

"I AM NAPOLEON!!!" Senator Kelly screamed. He was shackled into a stretcher as a couple of paramedics loaded the screaming senator into the back of an ambulance. Two French citizens were watching.

"What happened?" One French guy asked another French guy.

"The American accidentally walked in on a mime convention and got horrified." The second French guy replied. The first French person nodded.

**Malibu**** Base**

"Man, that was some adventure!" Theresa smiled as she and the other West Coast Misfits entered The West Coast Misfit Manor through the kitchen door.

"Speak for yourself!" Terrell grumbled. "I got captured!"

"You weren't the only one." Thunderbird added with his own grumble. "I finally met a girl who could speak English only to get taken down by an overgrown tin can. I hate my life."

"Oh, relax Thunderbird." Tommy grinned. "I got the number of that bird I was talking to in the club." Terrell and John groaned.

"I _hate_ you, Sharpe." John growled in a confused Tommy's face. Tommy just blinked. Rahne sighed.

"Don't mind him, Tommy. He's just frustrated because the mission nae went well for him." Rahne reassured. Kyle walked into the living room. His eyes widened.

"_HOLY GUACAMOLE!!!_" Kyle's voice erupted from the living room. The other West Coast Misfits looked at each other, then raced inside the room. Their dropped right through the floor in shock. The Christmas tree in the room had presents under the tree. Kyle jumped up and down in place like a hyperactive little maniac.

"Holy Toledo…" Ace blinked. The West Coast Misfits looked at each other for a couple minutes, and then they tore into the presents.

"Aw _SWEET!!!!_" Kyle whooped. "SmackDown vs. Raw! This game is awesome!"

"Hmm…" Toshi picked up a present. "I don't celebrate this holiday."

"Just open it, Toshi. Ye'll love it!" Rahne grinned. Toshiro opened up his present and was presently surprised.

"A bonsai tree. Thank you." The Japanese mutant smiled. Bonsai trees were considered art in Toshi's native Japan.

"Hey neat." John grinned, pulling out a traditional Apache necklace. "This is very nice."

"Aw, how cute." Rahne smiled, holding up a stuffed wolf. "He's absolutely adorable."

"A shillelagh!" Theresa squealed, holding up the wooden cane. "Me uncle had one of these." She also noticed a thank-you card from Marie-Claire.

"Well, hello…" Ace unwrapped his gift, a blue Gretsch. Ace was shocked. "A Gretsch! They stopped making these in the 80s! They are collectors' items! Wow! I've got to play this thing!"

"What's this?" X23 held up a stuffed animal.

"It's a wolverine, Athena." Ace replied. X23 stared at the small animal.

"Doesn't look like him." X23 blinked confusedly.

"More Mexican sports jerseys!" Rictor whooped happily. "You can't get these in America."

"Gunbarrel got those in Mexico while he and a couple of the guys were on a tequila bender." Quick-Kick said as he and Kicker walked into the room.

"That would explain why Whithalf told us that Gunbarrel and Burner are in jail in Tijuana." Kicker rolled her eyes.

"The Thunderbolt's Uncle George went to jail in Tijuana." Kyle added.

"Yup, you're not a Joe until you've been in jail." Thunderbird quipped.

"Hey look! CDs!" Dazzler grinned happily.

"Aw dude! A new surfboard! Rad!" Beast King whooped.

"Oh, very funny guys." Terrell held up his new book. "'Hugh Hefner's Guide to Getting Women'."

"He's an old friend of the family." Ace said. A laughing Jester could be seen running by the house. Everyone inside looked at each other.

"**_JESTER!!!!!!_**" Hardcase roared as he chased after Jester. He looked like Bigfoot with silver tinsel for fur. "GET THIS GARBAGE OFF ME!!!"

"I've got to use this new spice encyclopedia sometime." Tommy grinned.

"Hey neat…" Longshot looked at the ornate golden dagger in his hand. "This is so neat."

"Did you kids get what you wanted?" Kicker smiled.

"Yup!" The kids chorused.

"Hey, there's one for you guys." Ace handed them a couple presents. Kicker opened her present and pulled out a small gold necklace with a couple symbols on it.

"They're the Japanese and Korean symbols for love." Quick-Kick smiled. The girls (except Athena) let out an "Awwwwwwww", and Kyle did the thumb down the throat motion.

"Open yours, Quick." Kicker said. "I saw those at a fair and they screamed you. And you were a big fan."

"I'll say!" Quick-Kick grinned as he held up a pair of gold nunchucks. "Willy Dee used this weapon in his greatest movie, 'Fists of Ice'!"

"That movie was so goofy!" Kyle exclaimed. "Although the part where he threw that beehive full of angry bees down the villain's pants was pretty cool."

"Yeah, it was." Ace agreed. He then looked at his watch. "Hey you guys, isn't it the big Christmas Party going on downtown right now?" The kids and two Joes looked at each other and raced out the door.

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes had an amazing Christmas! What insanity will happen next time? Find out soon! This is L1701E, signing off!


End file.
